Green Eyed Monster

How Deep Is The Well

Lola and I haven't spoken in weeks. Her words have belittled and angered me beyond reasoning. I tell my mother about our conversation and she says, "I know it hurts, but you needed to know all of that."

    "Well for the record, I'm not hurt but angry."

    "Angry about what?"

    "About how she spoke to me!"

    "You sure you're not upset over what she said opposed to how she said it?"

    "Mama, I have to go. I'm not about to defend how I feel. I said why I'm angry. I refuse to sit here and let you put words into my mouth and frustrate me more."

    "Well, go calm yourself before you and me start fighting. But know I'm proud of you for being brave enough to open that door. It's hard today, but soon you'll both appreciate it."

Am I crazy or is everyone around me just idiots? Are they hearing what Lola told me? Solomon admitted he went for her because she was a younger version of me! If he never met her he'd be with who? ME, ya dumb asses!

Then Lola's boasting of their love at first sight b.s. is vexing as hell! Oh my God, help me! I'm so jealous I can't function! Trevor brought Hyde to see me a couple weeks in a row, but I don't give a damn about Hyde. I want to see Solomon! I'm going crazy! I'm sick of everyone talking to me like I'm some helpless girl who has lost her way. I'll go find Solomon and fuck him right in front of Lola, and what could she do about it? Absolutely nothing! Her whole existence is a pathetic imitation of yours truly!

Trevor comes over to see me. He always brings out the best in me. We go to the beach and swim. He tells me, "Ma, me and Jess broke up."

    "Aww boo. What happened?"

    "The fine honey's house we were working on kept coming for me. I tried to resist, but I showed up alone to do the final touches to her bathroom then she came and got in the shower while I was cleaning the extra caulk off the sink."

    "Oh Trev! Tell these whores no!"

    "Whore? She's a good girl!"

    "Really? How can you say that with a straight face, boy?"

He bursts into laughter saying, "No seriously! Hear me out! A whore is just out there sleeping with whoever, but men can't resist a woman who just goes for what she wants. We've been fixing her place over a week. She's in school. She has a good job. She's remodeling her own home with her own money. She and I had great convos. She told me she's been single over a year. I told her my relationship woes. We connected, then my last day, boom! She decided not to miss her opportunity!"

    "She tricked you out of your pants and you fell for it!"

Eyes closed with a twisted smirk he says, "Well, it was a great trick!"

    "Will you please save these talks for your homies?"

    "You are my homey, ma. ...You know Mrs T's home is almost finished. She'll be home as soon as King and I finish putting in the nursery for Hyde."

    "Oh Solomon does carpentry?"

    "Dad and I showed him a few tricks. He really learned so he could have bro time with us and vent about y'all crazy ass women."

    "Solomon has woman woes? Who knew? Lola speaks as if heaven is in West Chesterfield."

He huffs and then changes the subject. Trevor leaves for the evening but his story stays. Men can't resist a woman who goes for what she wants and Solomon and Lola aren't living a fairytale after all. Interesting. It's then I decide to make amends with Lola. I call but she doesn't answer so I leave a message saying, "I miss you. I hope you're not still angry and we can see each other soon."