Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

i'll take you.

Pearl

For most of that morning, I focused on my work; I didn't want to think about what happened with Tom, and frankly I didn't even know what to think.

It was such an impulsive gesture that I didn't know how to explain to Bill what he saw, but I knew I needed to justify myself to him, if I wanted to stay at his house for a few weeks.

Soon it was 1 p.m. and I had to go home, even if I wasn't that happy about it.
Feeling a knot in my throat, I stepped in my car and called Bill, because having that conversation face to face was not something I could've done.

'Hello', Bill picked up almost immediately, but his tone was everything but enthusiastic, he sounded disappointed.
I could've kind of understood it, giving what he saw, but at the end of the day it was my life and what I did with it was my business only. Or almost.

'Hi bill', I said, a little reluctant; I didn't know what to talk about first, about my kiss with Tom, or the fact that my mom kicked me out.
From the other end of the phone I didn't hear a sound, so I figured that I would've had to explain what happened with Tom first.
Sighing, I gathered up the courage and started to speak, even though the words that left my mouth didn't make any sense.

'Look, Bill, I'm sorry about what you saw this morning, I think? Actually I don't even know why I'm apologising, I don't think that I betrayed you or something like that and in the end I can kiss whoever I want, you know.
I don't think it's fair always having to apologise for things that are not under my control, I don't know what got into us, we just wanted to, Bill.
It wasn't anything serious, and I don't think your behaviour is fair. Also, I was probably tired, sad, confused, and..'

'Pearl, breathe for a second' Bill said, and his words brought me back to reality, as I didn't even realise I was talking to him and not to myself. I threw myself into a train of thoughts that, without even noticing, left me breathless for how fast I was talking.

'I'm not mad at you, Pearl', Bill said, 'it's true what you're saying, you can do whatever you want. It's him I'm mad at, I care about you more than anything in the world, and this goes for Tom too. It just makes me mad always having to lecture him, remembering him that he can't play with you.'
Bill sighed, taking a little break, and continued, 'you're like a twin to me, Pearl, you're just like Tom to me, and that's what he doesn't understand.'

I smiled at his words, letting a silent tear wet my cheek.
I knew I felt the same way about Bill too, he was the brother I needed, the brother that took the place of my two real brothers, once they decided to abandon me with my mother.

'Thank you Bill, but you know who I am and what I think. Tom will never be the one I end up with', I heard Bill laughing, and that sound alone made my day a little less grey.

'Bill, I need to talk to you about something else too', I quickly got serious, remembering that I still needed to ask him to let me stay in the house.

'This morning my mother called me. We had a fight and she kicked me out. I don't want to be a burden to you, I'm just asking you to let me stay for a couple nights so that I -'

'Don't even joke about it', Bill said, interrupting me, 'you can stay here as long as you need and as long as you want. Now come in.'

I looked at the big gate in front of where I parked my car, and I realised that Bill was standing right in front of the entrance door, smiling at me.

I smiled back to him, getting out of the car, and thanking God or whoever was above us for gifting me such a pure and precious soul, who gave me the will to let me get by, as much as I could.

3 p.m.

Tom didn't join me and Bill for lunch, and I thought that it was better that way, I knew I had to talk to him because I wouldn't have let Bill have to chose between me and Tom, but maybe it was still too soon.