Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

if you go, I go.

Tom's POV

I knew I messed up as soon as she stood up from that table and ran to the bathroom.
I had never felt angrier in my life, but it wasn't her I was mad at.
It was Christian, the paparazzis, and everyone that tried to hurt her.
And most definitely, I was mad at myself.
I couldn't forgive myself for leaving her in the arms of someone who tried to ruin her, but there I was taking my anger out on the wrong person, like I was used to do.

Hearing her loud sobs coming from the locked bathroom made me want to vomit and break that door down.
I just wished I could step out of my own body and punch myself in the face for all of the times I hurt her and ran back to apologise, only after I made her cry.
My heart broke even more when I heard her punching the wall, but I couldn't do anything else than wait for her to come out when she was ready.

Once she actually did open the door, I immediately noticed her pale skin.
I figured she had been taking all those pills throughout the day, but I wasn't sure how many she had actually taken, which scared me to death.

She looked at me like she wanted me to die, and when her gaze met mine I couldn't breathe anymore.
She spoke and told me that she was sorry, leaving me even more confused.
I stood there, trying to get her to talk to me, but when her body hit the ground, I finally understood.

'Pearl!', I yelled, immediately kneeling down in front of her.
She was looking at me, but there was no life in her eyes.

'No, Pearl, don't do this', I shouted, crying, while both Bill and Jocy tried to shake her to make her react.
She stood still, until she finally closed her eyes.

'You can't do this to me again', I shouted again, taking her head in my hands as I tried to wake her up with all the strength I had in me.

'Call an ambulance!', I said to Bill, who immediately stood up and took his phone out of his pocket.

'Hi', he said to whoever he was talking to.
'We have a girl who just passed out, and we can't wake her up.'

While Bill talked on the phone, me and Jocy continued to try and wake Pearl up, but she looked dead.
Her whole body started to shake uncontrollably and a white liquid came out of the corner of her mouth.

'Shit!', I screamed in horror, with tears falling down my eyes.

'Bill, she's overdosing!', I yelled again, while he kept on talking and explaining what was happening.

'Put her on her side', Jocy said, gently turning Pearl's body on the side to prevent her from sezuiring even more or biting her tongue off.

'They'll be here soon', Bill said, throwing his phone on the table and coming up to us.

Her body shook again as she spit some more liquid on the floor.
My hands were on her arms and on her head as I tried to stabilise her, but I felt my finger getting more and more numb.

'Pearl', I whispered, 'don't do this to me.'

Jocy looked at me and quickly took my place in front of Pearl, keeping her head off the cold floor.

'If you die, I die', I shouted, looking at her even if she couldn't see or hear me.
'Do you understand? If you go I'll go as well.'

'Come here Tom', Bill said, as he pulled me away from her body and tried to calm me down.

I stood up and took a few deep breaths, unable to see because of the tears in my eyes.
My head started to hurt as I bent down with my hands on my knees and looked at her.
As the minutes went by, she began to look even more pale and lifeless, while her body continued to shake and squirm.
Jocy, who seemed to be far more calm than I was, was helping her by cleaning her mouth and keeping her lips slightly parted.
I couldn't stand it anymore, - I couldn't keep looking at her while she was about to die, so I looked away.