Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

rehab.

Monday, 4 P.M.

'Wait, so you're telling me he's been doing drugs this whole time?', Jocy asked me, sitting on the chair in front of me.

Me and Tom came back home the night before, after spending that entire Sunday talking, trying to understand what his next move would've been.
I immediately talked about it to Bill, as I called him the morning right after me and Tom's fight, but, as always, he already knew everything.
He told me to stay calm, that everything would've worked out, but I could hear the fear he had for his brother in his tone.
I knew I had to be strong enough for the both of us, me and Bill, and also for Tom too.
No matter how difficult it would have been, I had made a decision and I wasn't going to change my mind, at least for the moment.
I wouldn't have left him.

Sighing, I looked at the empty cup of coffee in front of me, as I watched the people walking in front of the cafe where me and Jocy were, in the city center.

'Yeah', I said after a couple of minutes of silence, looking at the cars which were stopping at a red light.
'I mean, not this whole time. It's recent, but yeah, he's doing drugs.'

Jocy finished her cappuccino, and put the cup back on the little wooden table.
She didn't know what to say, and I couldn't blame her.
Apparently, none of us saw Tom's relapse coming, even though it's the most common thing between addicts.

'What is he going to do now?', she asked me, looking at me and taking a cigarette out of her purse.

'Well, he's checking into rehab today, so that's a start', I said, continuing to look at my cup.

'So that means he will have to stay there? To actually live there?', she asked, as I nodded.

'For a few days at least, but yes', I replied.

Jocy took my hand in hers and squeezed it, as I began to look at the busy road again, focusing on the cars and trying with all the strength I had in me not to cry.
But I couldn't.

'Sorry', I whispered, drying my tears as quickly as I could.

'Hey, you don't have to be sorry', she said, brushing her thumb on the top of my hand.
'It's only fair that you feel like this, you love him and you're worried about him', I nodded, closing my eyes.

The thought of having Tom taken away from me for an indefinite time scared me, but I knew he needed to do that, for his own well-being.

'I just wish I could've done something more to help him, you know, to fix him', I said to Jocy, but I saw her shaking her head.

'You did everything you could, it was not your job Pearl. Don't blame yourself, I'm sure Tom wouldn't want you to', she said, trying to comfort me the best she could.

I nodded, as I light up my cigarette.

'What about you and Bill?', I asked her, changing the topic so that I could take my mind off of everything that had happened that weekend, at least for a second.

Jocelyn laughed, but I saw how her cheeks took on a rosy colour, before answering me.

'Well', she said with a smile on her face, 'we actually slept together.'

'Wait, what? When?', I yelled, capturing the attention of a few passers-by.

Again, Jocelyn laughed as I did the same, incredulous of her words.

'On Saturday, after we brought you your bike', she replied.

'I leave you guys alone for two days and look at what you do' I said, as we both giggled again.

'So, are you guys back together?', Jocelyn's smile slowly faded away, and I regretted asking her that question, understanding that maybe I touched a topic that was better left avoided.