Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it.

'Come on, let's go home', I said standing up.

Hands in hands we walked back to the parking lot to wait for the taxi Tom called for us, still surrounded by the crowd of paparazzis who assisted at our fight.

One of them came closer to us, with his camera basically in Tom's face as he started to record us.

'Tom, is this your new hobby?', he said to him while pointing towards me.

'Fuck off', Tom replied without even looking into his camera, but the man didn't seem to want to leave.

Instead, he walked over to me pointing his camera in my face.

'Hey!', Tom yelled, trying to pull me the closest he could to him, but that didn't work.

'Nice dress', the paparazzi said laughing, filming my cleavage and the back of my dress.

'Fuck you', I yelled, feeling the anger warming up my body, as I pushed the man away from me with a kick in his leg, which made him fall to the ground.

I looked around seeing how the other paparazzis were capturing that moment in their cameras, and I felt vulnerable.
I felt my breath getting shorter, as I knew that moment would have been published on the internet for people to see.
My hands were getting sweaty, and my heart beat accelerated, while Tom dragged me in front of him so that his back was facing the cameras, standing there like a shield.

'It's fine baby, I'm here', he whispered to my ear with his arms around my neck and my back glued to his chest, swinging me from side to side like I was a child.

I managed to calm the nausea I was feeling in my stomach, right when the taxi arrived in front of us, so that we could step inside where we could hide behind the tinted windows.

Tom held my hands for the entire ride, squeezing them to make me understand that he was there, that he wouldn't have left me.
I never wanted to leave him either, but was that the price I had to pay to be with him?
Being followed, harassed, not being able to show any vulnerability, bury my emotions like they were used to do?
Was that really what I wanted for myself?

****

The next few days felt really weird, as the house was split in two: Bill and Jocelyn on one side and me and Tom on the other, the tension could've been cut with a knife.
Tom and Bill made amends after that dinner, and me and Jocelyn were still talking, but me and Bill were not.
I missed my best friend, every minute of every day, but I was too proud to talk to him, and frankly I still demanded apologies from him, so I was waiting for him to come talk to me.

That Saturday morning was rainy, the sky was completely covered in clouds and the temperatures were significantly lower than the previous weeks.

It was barely 9 in the morning, but we were all already awake: I was in the living room with my computer, Tom in the studio while he was working on the new arrangements for the album, and Bill out with Jocelyn.

I desperately closed my book, once I understood that I wouldn't have passed my next exam.
I didn't know what else to do, so I decided to surf on the internet to distract myself from the feeling of disappointment I was feeling.

However, a TMZ article, a website where paparazzis posted their photos and videos, caught my attention, completely distracting me from my initial purpose.

"Tom Kaulitz, Tokio Hotel's guitarist, and his new girlfriend Pearl Bellini outside of the '208 Rodeo', attacking a paparazzi", was the title of the article.

The video reported was the one that was taken by that man who tried to film my dress, but obviously that part was cut off so that it looked it I attacked him just because I wanted to, just because I was a total freak.