Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

do you think you're better off alone?

Pearl's POV

A couple of weeks had passed, since I moved on campus, and I was starting to live my life over again.

Tom didn't try to talk to me anymore, after the interaction we had at the studio, but working with him and the band was still hard.
I still felt him looking at me all the time when I was with them; I knew he wanted to talk to me, but he knew that I wouldn't have listened.

Jocy had came to visit a couple of times, and she helped me decorate the dorm a bit more with a few pictures of us and a couple of paintings she had bought for me.
It surely looked more alive and feminine.

Being on campus, I was able to attend a few lessons and I managed to keep up with all my exams.
The pills helped me with my focus, which was yet another reason for me not to stop.

Either way, I didn't have a reason to stop anymore.
I felt the happiest, - or the numbest, depending from the point of view, - when I was high, why would I have stopped?

Christian also came to visit me a few times, offering to help me fix the broken bathtub.
He had been a great friend and an amazing listener, I had found out.

That Thursday morning, me and Chris were out in a small cafè in town, talking and laughing with two cups of coffee in our hands, which he kindly offered to pay.

'So', he said, after finishing his coffee, 'there's a party at one of my friend's house tomorrow night.'

'Count me in', I smiled, taking a sip out of my coffee.

After moving out of Tom's house, I started to drink again.
I was drunk and high almost every weekend, blacked out at every party, - I made sure I was at every single one of them.

'I knew I could count on you', he smiled back.

'You know what I was thinking?', he said a couple of minutes later, after taking a bite of his sandwich.

'Do tell.'

'I kind of wanted to start law school.'

I almost chocked on my coffee, looking at Chris who was laughing at me.

'Really?', I smiled.

'Yeah', he smiled back, 'I mean I love my job, I just think I always wanted to give it a try since my sister graduated.'

'You should, I would love to have you there.'

With that being said, we left the cafè and went back to his car, - an old, but quite pretty, black Mercedes.

Christian drove me back to campus and walked me to my dorm.

'I'll pick you tomorrow at 9 P.M. then', he said once we arrived to my dorm's door.

'Sounds good', I replied.

I leaned towards him and got on my tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
I felt him smile as he gently placed his hands on my hips.

I stopped to look into his brown eyes for a second, - they reminded me of Tom.
I felt him staring at my lips and, without thinking too much about it, I placed my own on top of his.

He was taken aback at first, but he quickly kissed me back as his hand gripped my hips more tightly.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and dragged him closer to me, as I tried to search for the same feelings I felt when I kissed Tom.

However, I didn't feel the same way, but kissing Christian was something, a reason for me to try and move on.

The kiss ended a couple of seconds later, as his hands moved from my hips to my face.
He placed one on my jaw and used the other one to tuck my hair behind my ears, smiling.
I tried to smile back the best I could, trying to cover up the regret I was feeling.