Call Out My Name|| Tom Kaulitz

is it love or is it lust?

I stepped out of Tom's studio almost immediately, fearing that if I would've stayed there any longer I would've kissed him without thinking twice about it.

As soon as I went out his room, I saw Bill's door closed, guessing that him and Christian were already inside it.
I wanted to study, I was starting to fall behind with my exams, but instead I decided to get ready and go down to the gym, to distract myself for at least a couple of hours.
Once I went inside of my room, I changed into black shorts and a black sports bra, and after putting my shoes on, I took a bottle of water and stepped out of my room.

However, as soon as I closed the door behind me, I saw Tom doing the same with his door, wearing a white tank top, black shorts, with headphones in his ears and boxing gloves in his hands.

I stayed perfectly still, looking at him slowly walking towards me, and I didn't know if I could've controlled myself.
All I wanted to do was take him back to my room and kiss him until I couldn't breathe anymore, even if I already felt my breath short just by looking at him.

I forced myself to look somewhere else, clearing my throat, as I felt my thoughts becoming even louder in my head.

'You're going to the gym?', Tom asked me, walking closer to me.

He was standing perfectly in front of me, while looking at me from my feet to my head, smirking.

'Yeah', I nodded, 'I can always go later, if you need it', I said, trying not look at him, but I simply couldn't.

'Why would you?', he asked me tilting his head.
'Friends can workout together, can't they?'

They sure can, but we could've never been just fiends, and we both knew that deep down.

'Yeah, I guess', I whispered, unsure of my answer.

'Let's go then', he said, sticking his hand out to me.
A bit hesitant, I took it while looking towards Bill's door, making sure that nobody saw that ridiculous scene of me practically falling on my knees for a man.

We went down the stairs and walked past the kitchen, to enter the door on its right, that led to the gym.
Once we got inside I let go of his hand to search for something to do and distract myself, meanwhile he walked to the barbells.

I decided to connect my phone to the stereo, so that I could play some music, while I was observing his every move: the way he was taking the plates next to a bench, to load his barbell, how he slightly nodded his head following the music's rhythm and mimicking the words with his mouth.

I walked towards another barbell which was standing next to his and I loaded it, while I felt his eyes burning on my back.

'Jesus, control yourself', I whispered to myself, hoping that he didn't hear me.

I felt stupid, I made a scene just the night before, promising Tom and myself that I made the right decision for the both of us, and not even 24 hours later I was ready to throw it all away just to sleep with him.
I could've simply slept with anybody else, maybe Christian, just to satisfy my needs.
But I didn't want anybody else, - I didn't want to hurt Tom's feelings more than I already did, but he was the only one that had that impact on me, he was the only one with whom I couldn't control my emotions, physically and mentally.

Tom started to workout, which let me distract for a few minutes, while I started my workout too.
However, after about half an hour I saw Tom walking up to the punching bag, starting his second workout.
I looked at him for a few seconds, while he was punching the bag, hopping from one feet to another and slightly whimpering between punches.

'Tom, you think you can keep the noise down a bit?', I said, with my breath short and my hands still on the barbell.

I heard Tom giggle and I turned around to face him: he was looking at me panting, with his chest quickly moving up and down and his mouth slightly opened, curved in a smirk.
Some drops of sweat were dripping from his forehead, making his white tank top a bit wet.
He took his water bottle, still looking at me, and drank out of it, pouring some on his face to wash the sweat off.