wings | bbc ghosts

36 | kitchen nightmares

Why was it that Mike Cooper felt the need to cause a racket every time he entered the kitchen? Sure, he was a great chef (normally), Violet had enjoyed the first Christmas dinner she'd had in a while and met Mike's family too. Good food, good people.

But the noise, no.

"Mike," Violet sighed as she entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, "the last time you tried to do something like this you burnt the food."

"Violet, I do not need this. I do not need this. I'm doing a nice thing, for my wife," Mike fussed, not jumping at her presence, so used to it by now. He hurried around the kitchen, collecting different utensils that needed cleaning whilst hovering by the oven to oversee his own cooking.

"Alison's not awake yet?" Violet questioned, taking a seat at the table and rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

"You're one to talk. You do realise it's lunchtime?" Mike continued to cook, his back to Violet.

"Eh, that's the usual with me, not with Alison though. She ok?" Violet wondered.

"Just been feeling a bit ill recently, I'm sure it's nothing. Anyways, I've got this to cook," Mike begins to list, turning around, "then me and Aly are off to the solicitor's, then I've got work, I'm a busy guy."

"Mike..."

"No, before you ask, I do not need your help, I'm a perfectly capable, independent man."

"No, that's not, ugh, Mike-"

"What?"

"You're burning the eggs, they're on fire! How do you even set fire to eggs?!" Violet dashed out of her seat, pulling Mike back as they both panicked.

"You distracted me!" Mike fussed.

"Oh, crikey! Alright, stay calm, I know how to handle this. Code of conduct, rule number 18, in event of a fire-" Pat suddenly appeared, making Violet shriek and Mike in turn jump. The two of them faffed around, not knowing what to do.

"Oh Pat! You can't sneak up on people like that! Ugh, just, go, keep Mary away from here, okay?" Violet fussed, a hand on her heart as she grabbed a tea towel to fan away the smell. Pat nodded and immediately ran out of the kitchen, secretly relieved.

"Oh no, oh no, I'm going to burn down the estate before we even see the solicitor's," Mike's eyes widened, the rising flames from the pan reflecting in them.

"We need an adult!" Violet cried, jumping up and down with the tea towel waving around in the air.

"Violet, you are an adult!" Mike shouted back, bravely grabbing the pan and dropping it in the sink.

"We need an adultier adult! Get Alison!" Violet continued to fan the air, her eyes shut.

"No, this was meant to be a surprise! It's fine, I've got it anyways," Mike breathed a sigh of relief, turning the tap on.

Fortunately, Mike had already cooked some sausages and bacon, along with some roasted tomatoes and mushrooms. He wasn't going to bother touching the eggs again, in case this time he actually did burn down the kitchen. To make up for it though, he wanted to make a smoothie for Alison too, with Violet's help of course.

"Mike, why can't you do this on your own?" Violet rolled her eyes, scraping some chopped up banana into the blender.

"You're a girl, Violet," Mike began, arranging the food on the plate in a particular way.

"Great observation there," Violet deadpanned at him, now scooping some strawberries in.

"No no, what I mean is you might know what she'd like more than me," Mike turned his attention to what Violet was adding to the blender, like he was studying for a test.