JUST GIRLS-matty healy

20

our song had done so well it's now been a month since the whole social media back and forth with matty and i'm just trying my best not to think about him because no matter how hard i try it's like he's burned into my mind and i can't scrape him away
...
"hey" i heard molly say as she came into my room
"hey u okay?"
"yeah yeah i'm good just wondering what your doing tomorrow" she asked
"nothing just planned on staying in why?"
she shifted uncomfortably on the bed and it took her 20 seconds to get her words out
"well it's the release party tomorrow for the boys album and i was wondering if you was going to come with me?"
i just sat there i wanted to go to be supportive but i also couldn't see matty i just knew it would be hard to see him and hear this album when he's admitted to the public it's about me or most of it is
"i don't know mol i don't think it's a good idea"i sighed
"i know you don't want to see him but i think you should go"
she always makes things sound easier than they are i guess that's just her charm but i couldn't make a decision
"i'll let you know" i said with a smile as she walked out of my room
...

@Y/N_official-obsessed with our album cover coming to you guys very soon we love you !!!

comments:
@molly_official-oh yessss
@dylanminette-cant wait to hear it
@rossmc-you guys kill it every time

...
today was the day of the release party the album would play at the party for everyone to hear and they have an open bar as molly was telling me she said the place looked amazing when she was helping out yesterday
"hey you gonna come tonight" molly asked
"mmmm i think so" i sighed
"honestly don't feel forced but i think the boys will appreciate it" she smiled
"yeah i want to support them even on the terms i am with matty"
"okayyy let's get ready we need to leave in a few hours"
"yeah let's get ready" i smiled falsely knowing this still wasn't a good idea but i was only going to stop by have a drink then leave what's the harm that could do
...
i got ready i wore some black leather pants with a pink corset and a small pair of heels curled my hair and did my makeup i felt good i felt like myself when i got ready and i just wasn't ready for the place i'm now heading too
...
me and molly had been dropped off by a taxi that cost way too much but i guess that's just Manchester for you i was evidently nervous i was shaking and looked pale
"hey you don't have to go in there you know?"
"yeah i know i'll be fine mol i promise"
"i love you okay and if you need me we're gone from this place okay"
"i love you"
we hugged and made our way in before we got in i could hear music playing but it wasn't the album yet because we had another 10 minutes before it came out i could just see the huge room illuminated by neon pink signs all around i guessed it was the song titles i saw "somebody else" "love me" "change of heart" they looked beautiful if i was honest this was really thought through "paris" i saw infront of me i just stared at it they had made a song called paris my heart started to ache recalling all the memories from paris i started to feel light headed so i went to get  drink when i bumped into adam at the bar
"heyyyyy" he said pulling me into a hug
"heyy congratulations adam i'm so proud" i said smiling at him
"thank you it means a lot matty will be happy your here"
my smile faded
"maybe just don't mention it to him if he sees me he does but if he doesn't then he doesn't" i said hoping he'd understand
"oh yeah i get you no worries but i need to go but it was so good to see you shots later?"
"oh yeah definitely"
after adam walked away i tried my best to find molly without being noticed but that's when i felt arms around my shoulders i turned around to see ross
"omg hey" i said hugging him
"heyyy i didn't think you'd be here"
"yeah i couldn't miss this it's huge for you guys" i said smiling
"do you want a drink there free" he said smirking pulling me to the bar
we did some shots and i was a little tipsy but then i heard music starting to play
"shit i need to go and get on that stage" ross practically legged it to the stage i guess there was also a live performance i wasnt informed about from molly i just need to stay in the back of the crowd and be low profile
...
the first few songs were honestly beautiful and i had missed seeing them live but when i heard the start to somebody else my body tensed up and i just stared at matty not knowing what to do he couldn't see me he hadn't looked in my direction once this was the last song there playing and i needed to get out of here but it's like my legs were glued to the floor and eyes on matty
"and come on baby this ain't the last time that i'll see your face" and almost on que he looked into the crowd and made eye contact with me i saw him tense up just like me he almost didn't get to the next lyric on time for the rest of the song we just looked at each other from opposite sides of the room and it felt like we was the only two people there i needed to get out of here fast after this song at least
...
"thank you everyone for coming today we love you all and hope you love the album and take advantage of that free bar goodnight"
...
the crowd from the stage started to clear and everyone headed back into there own conversations and i was just stood in the same spot i was for a whole 5 minutes
until i saw a figure approaching me i started to walk the opposite direction
"Y/N wait"
i felt his hand grab mine and pull me back to him
i was now face to face with matty
"i didn't expect you to be here" he said
"yeah me either i just wanted to be supportive but i should leave it was a bad idea"
i said getting ready to leave he stopped me once again
"no no it's not im glad your here i wanted you to be here i-"
"we can't do this again matty cmon" i said trying not to cry at the feel of his touch i missed it and i missed him but i can't cave i wont
"can we go somewhere to talk please" he asked me
i hesitated but eventually left with him to a room in the building to talk
"listen Y/N i'm sorry okay sorry for kissing you that day when you came to see me and i'm sorry for cheating and for hurting you i never wanted to do that"
"i know matty but you did and then you wrote this album which is beautiful but it's not fair because it's based on a lie we wasn't perfect and this album can't represent us because it's false"
i said tearing up
he stepped closer to me pulling my chin up and looking into my eyes
"exactly nothings perfect this album isn't perfect it explains how i feel about you the song paris how much i want to be with you again somebody else i hated seeing you with harry yeah the song says i don't want you but that's only because i know that it would hurt you but i know i won't ever hurt you please just let me show you"
he was crying and so was i
"i can't matty don't you understand you broke me  all i did was love you and that's all i wanted back and you couldn't do that" i was sobbing now he pulled me into him and i just cried in his arms
"shh shh don't cry please i hate seeing you like this because of me"
he pulled me infront of him and wiped away my tears
"i want you more than i've ever wanted anyone i can't function without you i love you so so much and i hate myself for what i did but please just let me show you i can't loose you forever me and you are meant to be forever" he pleaded with me
"you know matty all i ask for is to be loved i don't expect anything else just love and loyalty" i said looking into his eyes
"i know and i want you to know that's all i have to give now i'm different i love you and i've always loved you since i first saw you your perfect and i know i don't deserve you but i'm begging for you to let me at least have you one more time to know if it's actually over"
matty was shaking i could feel it as his fingers trembled in my hands
"okay" i whispered
"i can't hear you Y/N" matty said
i just pulled him into a kiss it just felt so right out lips together body's aligned i had missed him so much and i felt myself come back in that moment
"i love you" i said as i pulled away
"i fucking adore you Y/N Y/L/N"
...