The Enchanted Ones

Burning

Everett

I don't know what life is anymore.

I don't know how to live.

I suffocate.

I wake up from yet another bad dream.

I thought I knew what heartbreak was like before. I thought I knew what it felt like to be betrayed. To have your heart broken.

Now, I wish it stayed like before.

The feeling that has overpowered me these past few days is torture. I'm suffering and the reason I am is no one but me. I should have known. I shouldn't have trusted her. A story with me and an assistant never ends well.

I should have known, goddamn it.

I am angry only at myself. I can't believe I let myself fall in love with her.

My head hurts. My heart is pounding in my ears. My blood feels cold. I fall backwards on the headboard, and close my eyes.

Winslow's eyes immediately appear and I open them again, causing me to feel dizzy.

I hate her.

I stand up, trying to ignore the pounding in my head and walk to my desk. I grab some painkillers and drown them down with some three days old water I found on it.

My door knocks.

"What?"

"Um, you have important emails that need to be checked if you don't mind getting dressed and coming to the office." Cassius walks in my room.

I ignore him and lay on the bed.

"Man now for real, you have to-" he cuts himself when he notices something on the floor of my messy room. My room was never messy. "Is that alcohol?" He surprisingly asks.

I stare at the ceiling.

"I can't believe you." He sighs and sits on the bed next to me.

"Leave." I blankly tell him, still staring at the ceiling.

"Man, you've never drunk before. What's happening to you? You've got to let her go as much as it hurts you." His eyebrows raise in concern. Is he actually worried about me?

"I hate her." I mumble.

"Well, at least hating her will make it easier to forget her." He shrugs.

"What will loving her do then?" I quietly mumble this time.

"Oh man, she's got you fucked." He hits my shoulder, pursuing his lips.

"Very."

I wish things were different. I wish our lives were normal. I wish she didn't have intentions like those. But then again, she did warn me. Now I understand why she was so hesitant about being with me.

But I don't know why.

I mean, she would eventually hurt me.

I wonder what she's doing. Where she is. After Spencer and his men left because of some threads, she just disappeared.

I want to see her. I want to hear her explanation. Her reassurance that everything is going to be okay, she's going to find a way to be with me. That everything is a lie and she loves me like I do.

But on the other hand, I don't know how much trust I have left in me to go over something like that again.

"Are you drunk?" Cassius voice brings me back to reality.

"Not yet." I grab a bottle of whiskey and sip from it. It burns but numbs the pain. My chest burns, too. But not from the alcohol. From the heart ache.