The sickness called love(Soukoku)

Its hard to forgive

Tw:violence

Chuuya pov

A bright light beamed on my eyes as I slowly opened them I groaned adjusting to the sunlight that shined in my eyes "what the hell happened" I managed to say I heard the heart monitor besides me and I barely remembered much except the moment I crashed into a building

My body ached as I looked around I saw 2 notes on the table I grabbed one with pink roses on it as I read:

Hello Chuuya I hope that you wake up soon don't worry about much I ordered maids to care fore your house until you wake up -Love Koyō

I smiled looking at the card seeing at least someone cared about me as I put it down I grabbed one that was black with golden outline as I opened it reading:

Hello *Nakahara scribbled out* Chuuya I hope you wake up soon I gave you a few dollars for a new puppy movie that just came out I watched it with Gin to be sure I'm sure you'll like it...-Sincerely Akutagawa

I laugh at seeing him still struggling to use my non formal name I began to hear footsteps as the door opens revealing a familiar brunette....

I didn't want to see his face anymore not after that....I closed my eyes pretending I was sleep hoping he would just leave but instead he sat in a chair next to me there was a silent awkwardness coming from him until he spoke "hey Chuuya I just wanted to check on you I mean it's not like I want to go to work this early anyway...I just want to say I'm sorry-" he said before I cut him off "Bullshit..."

I said opening my eyes Dazai sighed "look I understand I don't say this but I really am-" "Shut up Osamu...." I said looking at him feeling my heart throb just looking at him I couldn't look at him I could feel the embarrassment throbbing from my chest I looked down as he tried to grab me to look at me but I violently slapped his hand "Don't fucking touch me..." I said my throat  seemed like there was something in it

"Fine what do you want me to say" he said looking at me I felt anger bubbling up inside of me "get out Osamu..." "wha-" "I  SAID  GET THE FUCK OUT OSAMU" I looked at him my body heated as I looked into his dirt brown eyes he huffed out a sigh as he left a tiny paper burnt looking paper with a letter on the table then got up and quietly said "I see..." as he walked off with his hands in his pockets

I saw him walk in the darkness as I grabbed the note it read:Hello there I know you might not want to here from me but I just want to say I saved your picture-get well soon,Dazai I put it down grabbing  a burnt picture it was the same picture that was in the car in the crash

I felt tears slide down my face...why was I crying?He hurt me so many times...so why do I still care for him...

But then something hit me "I remember now..." I said looking down

Pov:the crash
Chuuya's pov:

I felt tears rush out my eyes as I drive somewhere...anywhere...I didn't care as long as I made it away from him that was until A purplish fog came through my window's making my cough uncontrollably before I crashed into a building I felt the car violently shake making me fall into a airbag

I sat up my head hurting like hell then I smelt a fire it was coming fast but I couldn't move I tried to move but it was little to no use "shit... I can't die like this..." I tried my ability but it was no use I was too weak I pulled together enough strength to at least grab the picture to look at it one last time if I really am going to die I mind as we'll remember something good...I thought as my eyes laid on the picture

I coughed from the smoke as I heard someone familiar call my name...it was Dazai....

He rushed to the door trying to unlock the seemed to not be working of course since it's locked so he smashed the window I felt the glass hit me I moved my head just in time for it not to hit my eyes...

He unlocked it from the inside as I started to cough up blood as I felt the fire burning my skin I wanted  to scream but I I couldn't all I could do his scrunch up my eyes in pain as I smelt my skin slowly burning as Dazai dragged me out I dropped the picture I tried to speak but I only coughed more blood I saw as he grabbed the picture as fast as he could before picking me up bridal style

All I can do is stare as he rushes out I heard screaming as people was getting hit with the smoke as blood run down my mouth I heard him muttering something before he says "it's going to be ok...." He brushes my hair as he continues to doge the purplish smoke "I know you hate me for what I said...but trust me on this I'm going to get you somewhere safe ok Chuuya....."

It was weird even with him being so dramatic ever since he left the mafia I never saw him so emotional and real...

I coughed up more blood as I looked at him a serious and worried face....as if he actually cared about me "I can't do this again..." he said his voice cracking my eyes felt like they was only getting heavier looking at him focused gently holding me in his arms

"Don't close your eyes where almost there....I know you want to but just stay awake a little bit longer..."but I felt my vision blur as I slowly started to lose consciousness I heard muffle screams and curses as I fell limp in his arms

  ..........

In Present time

Chuuya pov:

I looked at the bandages on my arm as I sighed looking down at the burnt piece of paper

"I can't forgive him....not yet..."