The sickness called love(Soukoku)

Getting better and worse at the same time

Tw: throwing up,Suicide

Chuuya

"Hello?"

Dazai asked as I took a breath

'Gosh I'm really going to forgive this idiot..." I thought before answering him

"Yeah it's Chuuya...just wanted to say if you'd like you can come over tomorrow...that's if you'd want to I'm not forcing you or anything I still hate you!" I yelled at him he chuckled "of course what time?" He asked it was hard to read what he was feeling but I brushed it off "well 5:00 I guess nothing has been going on at the mafia so I should be back by then..." I said calmly "we'll see you then bye Chibi~" he teased before I hung up

"Damn Mackerel..."

I muttered before getting up off the couch before a wave of nausea came over me I ran to my bathroom lifting up the toilet seat before hovering my head above the toilet as I sat on my knees immediately throwing up I continued until no more would come up as my nose started to bleed once again

"Just my luck..."

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The next day I woke up with a headache worst than any hangover I've ever had making work rather dull I didn't talk to anyone just filled out documents and slept on my desk the whole day before checking my phone seeing it was 4:00 already my headache seemed to go away which was good

I got up walking out my office when I was met by Anne-San she looked worried as she looked at me "Anne-San?" I questioned looking at her as she stood elegantly as always

"Have you been ok Chuuya?I know we haven't talked in a bit but I want you to know I still care about you..." she said looking down on me from being so tall I sighed "yeah just haven't been getting much sleep since the crash..." In which this wasn't a lie it was hard to sleep and plus I never saw the point in sleep since I can't dream every time I sleep it's always just darkness or just memories most of them seem to always be bad and the random nose bleeds make it no better

"Well if it helps I have some sleeping pills in my office"she said with a almost pitted smile "I'll take them I suppose" I smiled a bit as she walked in her office coming back with the pills handing them to me "be careful..." she said ruffling my hair "I was really worried about you those weeks..." she said calmly

I looked down almost feeling guilty ,why...why do I feel guilty for me about to lose my own life I looked up meeting her eyes calmly

"Thank you"

Is all I said before walking off

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Koyō

"Thank you..."

Is all he said before walking off...

Something seemed weird about it though it just seemed deeper then the thank you your the pills,I don't know it just seemed so sincere as if he wanted to say something but couldn't

I smiled as I turned away going back into my office

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Dazai