Life of Harlow

Confidant

Harlow

I was going to lay down in Luna's room, but I didn't want to be alone. It's weird, I was ready to get away from everyone, but now all I wanted to do was be around them. I know I make no sense. To think all of this would've been avoided if I didn't snap at Uncle Logan.

"You sure you don't want to lay down?" Luna asked.

"No. I'll be fine. We can watch football with everyone else."

All she did was nod and we went to the living room.

"There she is. Hey, princess," my grandpa greeted.

He motioned for me to come and give him a hug which I did. I then did the same with my grandmother before moving on to my aunts, uncles and cousins. Family dinner was usually a full house. Not all my family lived in the area, but we'd all come together on Sunday. Uncle Logan was sitting on the chair. I reached him last.

"You okay?" he quietly asked.

"Yeah. I just uh... I apologize for cursing at you. It was rude and uncalled for."

He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"It's okay. I've been in your shoes before."

I gasped.

"You said what I said to you to your uncles?"

He chuckled.

"Let me put it to you like this, teenage Logan Law was a wild one."

"So you're not mad? You don't hate me? I mean you could, you should. I..."

"Princess, I could never hate you. No one in this family will ever hate you. You hear me?"

I silently nodded.

"I'm serious Harlow. I don't want to hear you talking like that. I love you. We all love you. You had a moment, it was rude, but you're apologizing for it. I accept your apology and that's that. Okay?"

I silently nodded. He kissed my forehead and told me to go make myself comfortable and we'd be eating soon. I wedged myself in between my grandparents, laying my head on grandma's shoulder.

"You okay?" my grandma quietly asked.

"Panic attack," I whispered.

She looked at me concerned.

"Oh, sweetheart."

"I'm okay."

"You sure you don't want to lay down?"

I shook my head.

"Don't want to be alone. I'm okay here."

My dad came in a few minutes later and grandpa was going to get up so he could take his seat next to me, but he motioned for him to stay put. He sat on the couch and jumped right into the conversation about the game. He would glance over at me ever so often, checking to make sure I was okay.

We ate dinner and afterwards dad got our dessert to go before saying goodnight to everyone. Even though I freaked out and had a panic attack, I knew we still had to talk. That was inevitable. The drive home was quiet. It was just after 7pm when dad pulled into the garage.

"How about you go get ready for bed then we can talk over dessert," he said before we even got out of the car.

That was his polite way of telling me to do something.

"Okay."

I went up to my room, showering and washing my hair. I felt the anxiety building as I was afraid of this talk with my dad. I remember my grandma teaching me how to meditate. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I stopped thinking about what was bothering me. All I did was focus on my heart beat.