4 Nerds Want Lemons

23

Chapter 23

Tomlin

Sunday 9 pm

***

Do you want to know how awful of a person I am? You do, so I'll tell you. I didn't leave that basement last night. Nope, my curious ass sat on the top step of the stairwell and listened and watched them from a hiding spot for an hour and a half, feeling like a perv the whole time.

It was a wonderful sight to behold. Let me tell you. The way Ryland was kind one second and aggressive the next made me so hard it was ridiculous to fathom. He was gentle and persuasive with Sammy. Hard and mean to Darius. And with Jay he landed half way between the two opposites. It was like watching poetry being turned into sexual animosity. I finally left when I thought they were getting to the naked part.

I'd be too jealous to sit and watch that. Call me dumb all you want, but there was just no way I could walk into that situation with them. They all seemed to love and care for one another.

I cared about a few certain things and people. Probably my dad, Dylan and Andrew and that's about it. Think about it. If I cared about Tessa at all I'd have fought. Or been hurt. Instead I just sort of floated away from her because I just didn't care.

The one thing that stood out to me right now though, is that I definitely cared about the stupid jughead nerds. Which is so fucking insane to me because technically I've only known their names for two days. And I've only been talking to them for a little over a week now. Yet in that week I have found myself enveloped in them. Without them around things felt dull. How is that even possible? And was that why I chose to be where I am right now? God damn it. Was a cycle of self destruction coming on?

"I hate that look, Grumpy Gus. What's the matter?" Andrew asked, hitting me in the side with his elbow.

"I'm just wondering why the fuck I'm here."

He laughed. "There's no school tomorrow and I kind of kidnapped you because my boyfriend is with his mom in LA."

"Yeah, yeah. But why here in this dumb gay club? We could have eaten somewhere nice and watched Golden Girl reruns." I complained, taking a sip of my soda. 

The lights from the club hurt my eyes with my glasses on. I really don't know how I let Andrew con me into coming to Twinks tonight, other than I was feeling sorry for myself.

"Tomlin, I wanted to have fun. You're usually so much fun no one in the room sees anyone, except you. Why are you being a Debbie Downer?" He pouted, wrapping an arm around my neck.

"It's a long story. Let's just dance and shake it out." I smiled, grabbing his wrist, pulling my giant basketball player best friend to the dance floor.

Andrew was 6'7 and already scouted for three colleges next year. He was beautiful with blonde hair and hazel eyes that bore into you when he needed you to really understand him. He was the calmer of the two men in my life. He always knew how to make me smile. When we were little he'd pull Tessa's hair anytime she was mean to me. I'd give anything to go back to those times.

"I think your 4-pod alien friends are here." Andrew teased. He said the four of them are so in line with one another it's alien and now he thinks that shit is funny. I hate it.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't call them that. It's rude and they get teased enough as it is. Where are they?"

The song switched to a slow song and Andrew pulled me into his embrace. I put my chin on his shoulder, looking around the room. I wrapped one arm around his shoulder and the other around his waist. Being wrapped up in him made me feel really safe.