Peace of mind. || Tom Kaulitz

24. | The break up. |

September. It's officially fall and most of my age people have left for college, found jobs or just like me, didn't know what to do with their lives.

I was standing in my balcony, enjoying a morning cigarette, before the whole storm that's going to go down later. Today I will break up with Ryan.

For some reason he is only leaving today for college and not early, like Maggie. I guess he wanted to spend as much time with me or his parents as he can, but I ignored him as much as i could.

Today was perfect for the plan, since I won't be seeing him anymore, only when he comes back for the holidays, and he most likely won't be able to do anything to himself since he has to leave.

I had made a plan before with Tom and Bill, that they will come to my house, after my parents leave for work, and we will wait for Ryan to arrive after i text him. They will be hiding, but still listening closely incase something goes wrong and i yell for help.

I feel some hands snake around my shoulders and i look at Tom with a smile.

-Trying to remain calm?-He asks, grabbing the cigarette from my hand and inhales its smoke.

-I am calm. Just enjoying the mornings fresh air.-I grab the cigarette back from him and inhale it too.

I smile at him and kiss him on the cheek.

-Happy birthday, Tom.

-Danke, liebe.-He smiles and kisses my forehead.

-Do you have any plans for today on how to celebrate?

-Not really. I planned on just spending the day with you and Bill.

-Then we will definitely have a little party.-I wink at him and he laughs a little.

-When will he come over?-Tom asks after a couple minutes of silence.

-In about twenty minutes.-I reply, looking at my phone.-So you both better hide soon.

-I know, liebling.-he kisses the top of my head and i smile widely.

From being with them i learned some german words and know that liebling basically means darling, liebe means love. Bill loves to call me liebe jokingly, but I don't mind it. It's actually kind of sweet of him.

We stand at my balcony silently for a couple more minutes, before Tom decides to head back inside and hide with Bill.

-Remember, even if something goes just a little wrong, yell our names and we will be here in a second. Got it?

-Yes, Tom.-i roll my eyes and kiss him on the cheek.-Thank you.

He nods and walks inside. I sigh and prepare myself for the shit thats about to go down.

Ryan arrived a few minutes later. I let him in and kept my distance from him.

-What did you want to talk about?-He asks, trying to come closer, but i step back.

-I'm breaking up with you.

Ryan freezes and i notice how his face changes from calm to angry in just a second.

-What?

-I'm breaking up with you.-I repeat calmly.

-No, you're not.-he grits his teeth.

-I am, Ryan. I can't do this anymore. I can't handle any more of your lash outs, your abuse and your threats. I'm done.

He looked like he was about to burst out of anger, but suddenly his face changes into sadness.