Peace of mind. || Tom Kaulitz

44. | I'm done. |

With shaking hands i grab Toms phone and walk to our balcony. I sit on a chair and unlock the phone. I Look through the apps he has and found nothing, making me feel better.

I sighed from relief and almost turned it off, but it vibrated. I furrowed my brows and saw that it was a message. The time was 1:42 a.m., who could be texting him this late?

I open the message notification and feel my mouth open from the messages i saw. It was a group chat with Paul, Eric and Rick. Just the four of them, no one else. And they were all sending disgusting photos they took after fucking with girls.

Why the fuck is Tom in this group chat?

I scrolled up and saw his texts, my heart breaking with each one.

'The redhead was so fucking good...'

'Yo, Katrina gave the best head i've ever had...'

'I think i might actually go home with the whore...'

What the fuck.

I felt my breathing getting heavier and tears fill up my eyes. I knew i was about to freak out.

I stood up and, as quietly as i could, left his phone where it was and walked out of our room. When i reached Bills door i could almost feel myself pass out from how hard it was to breathe.

I opened his door and closed it, walking up to his bed and slowly crawling in.

-Bill.-i nudge him, choking on my tears.-Please wake up, i need you.

He furrowed his brows and opened his eyes, which went wide from seeing me. He quickly sat up and pulled me in, hugging me tightly.

-Dakota, breathe, it's okay.-he whispered and i shook my head, hugging him tighter.

-It's not, Bill.-i sob out, completely choking on my tears and forgetting how to breathe.

He sat there not saying a word, just humming and swaying me softly.

I wanted to rip my heart out, it hurt so bad. How could he do this to me?

I thought we loved each other, he gave me a fucking promise ring, even flew me out to meet his damn mother on the other side of the globe. I loved him with all of my heart, for fucks sake we even moved in, planned a future together.

I cried the whole night, Bill stayed up with me, comforting in every way he could - wiping my tears away, rubbing my back, stroking my hair, swinging me slightly, humming and even singing some beautiful songs.

I told him everything. That i had a feeling before, that i wanted to check his phone for a while, but couldn't do it. That the text Maggie had sent me, pushed me to finally do it.

I poured my feelings to him, telling every emotion I'm feeling, how i hate his brother, but love him at the same time.

Bill swore that he didn't know anything about it and I knew he wasn't lying. I had seen how their relationship had changed too. Yes, they were talking still, yet Tom kept his distance. Bill wasn't in the group chat either, so he definitely didn't know.

And i know he would tell me if he knew anything about it. At least i hoped so.

When the sun finally slowly started to show, i had calmed down a bit.

-I need a cigarette.-i croak out, my throat feeling like there's a lump stuck in it, that will never go away.

Bill nodded, letting me go and getting up. He got a sweater from the closet and gave it to me. I gladly put it on, while he put on a robe. We walked out on to his balcony and he gave me a cigarette, lighting it up and then lighting his.