Those In The Forest

Part 23: Iris

Hazel said her one-on-one wasn't bad.

          Reagan apparently didn't use that time to try and seduce her to make her break, which is good to know, seeing as that it's my turn.

          Hazel was only alone with her for about fifteen minutes. I don't know if that's going to be the set amount for all of us, but I'm nervous. Nervous about what she'll want to know. What she'll hate if I say something wrong.

          Impressing her shouldn't cause so much anxiety. I want to prove that I'm worth her time, worth her. But she always seems so on the defense. We've only known her for a few weeks, but I feel like I've known her forever.

          Mating has a lot to do with that. We all have a connection. While I don't know how much that connection goes, I know I can make her happy. We all can if she lets us.

          "Iris, I'm waiting." Reagan's voice fell through the living room, alerting me.

          Hazel, Ivy, and Rose were outside the cabin talking with Avah and Lennox about Celia's outburst the other day.

          That was odd but not out of place. The Elders usually have a lot of disagreements. They are incredibly passionate about our little makeshift pack, and with REagn getting involved, things have gotten a bit more complicated.

          Karina and Celia are out somewhere in the woods doing God knows what. Probably make-up sex. They are really big on that. Like... really big. They advocate for it on multiple occasions. Apperlty with our species burning energy in that intimate of a way is really good for us.

          I don't hope we have any disagreements with Reagan, but finding a way to get my mouth on her, I might just do anything. She's been killing me these past few days.

          Touching, kissing, looking at me like she wants to devour me whole. And I have to fight it! Ridiculous! I huffed angrily before stepping into the kitchen where Reagan was standing at the fridge, pulling out leftover meat and stuffing her face with cold meat.

          She smiled at me. And I couldn't help but smile back.

          She belongs here. With us. For us to love her. Protect her. Care for her. She just needs to lower her guard enough to accept that.

          "Hello, Little Fawn." I greeted.

          She rolled her eyes at the nickname and moved to the table to sit down, licking her fingers for the meat seasonings and greases.

          "You all burn really hot in bed. I don't even need a blanket." She said finally.

          I don't know what to say to that. I sat quietly for a second. "Does that bother you?" I finally asked.

          She pursed her lips and shook her head. "No. I love it, actually. Feeling you all on me, holding me... it's actually really nice." she looked at me. I couldn't read her facial expression. "Does it bother you that I can't do what you all do? That I won't live as long? That I could die just from being too cold?"

          I frowned at the thought. Why does she feel so... small with us when she is literally our entire world?

          "It doesn't bother me. Knowing I am able to protect and care for you brings me a lot of joy. Knowing that you feel like a burden because you can't care for yourself is what bothers me." I say honestly.

          I want her to feel strong. If she believes she doesn't need to rely on us, I want to do what I can to make her believe that. To ensure her that she can protect herself and is not a burden to us.

          She nodded her head, thinking over what I said.

          "We met Ivy's brother. Apparently, her old pack is still relevant in your lives. What about yours?" she asked, clasping her hands together.

          My old pack isn't a sensitive topic. I've made my peace with them abandoning me. Especially when Karina and Celia found me, they have been great, a wonderful pack and family to grow with.

          "They are dead—all of them. Lennox and Avah's doing from what they told me." I cleared my throat. I figured Reagan would have a look of horror on her face, but she was listening intensely. "My mother appeared was close with Lennox. They were friends. After I started to get sick in my pack, she tried to figure out what was happening to me, but the pack didn't like that. She got pregnant again because my sire wanted a healthy pup if I were to die, and the pregnancy killed her. He was angry with me and abandoned me. Lennox and Avah heard what happened and killed them all. Karina and Celia got involved and took me in."

          Depressing story. It should bother me, but I don't care. I didn't know my mother because I was too young to. My sire, I have no desire to know anything of him. My Elders and Alphas are who I care about.

          Reagan had a look of sorrow on her face. I don't want her to pity me. I never want that. All I want her to feel for me is love and passion. Nothing that will make her sad. I can't handle her sad.

          "You all have had really shitty experiences with family." she chuckled sadly. "You already know what happened with my birth parents. I'm sure that was the only time I ever felt love, and I can't even remember it."

          I wanted to reach over, grab her hand, and comfort her. But something told me to stay put, that I would be pushing her if I tried to touch her, and I don't want that. I don't want her uncomfortable.

          "We can be what you need if you give us a chance. Just because we are mated.. Or well, on the verge of mated, doesn't mean anything. We like having you here. We love it, actually. I know you can feel it. I know you can feel how we feel about you. I get it's a hard adjustment, but we are here for you." I smiled at her.

          She darted out her tongue, wetting her lips. Gorgeous, plump lips.

          "I can't fall in love with you all. I've been in relationships, and I... I couldn't feel anything for them, so I know I won't for you all."

          Ouch...

          Fuck, that hurts to hear. Like a lot. Fuck!

          I cleared my throat again, my eyes stinging from unwanted tears, but I kept them back.

          Fuck! That hurt.

          "We could still love you. Is it so bad to just want to live a happy life where people are happy and willing to take care of you?" I asked quickly. Every word felt like lava coming out.

          "I don't need anyone to take care of me. I've been on my own my entire life and have survived just fine. A bunch of werewolf women aren't going to be able to train that out of me." She said harshly.

          "We don't want to train that out of you! We want to love you! Even if... even if you don't love us back. It is in our nature to want better for you. You can't train that out of us!" I argue softly. I didn't raise my voice. I would never do that to her.

          "You all will get rid of me. I am not normal to you all, just as you all are not normal to me. You will want me gone because I don't fit into your lives, and that day is soon. I am a burden. That is all I will ever be for you all. You can't change my mind!" she glared at me.

          Get rid of her?! Why the fuck would we do that!?

         "We will. That I promise, Little Fawn."

          And I always keep my promises. I will ensure she feels loved by us. Make sure she feels secure. I hate that she feels like this, but I know it will take time to make her believe us. Believe me.