Here Without You |5SOS|

5.) Never Again

Scarlett's P.O.V

"I still can't believe I have to do this. I'm not ready." I whispered to Ashton.

We are sitting in my room back in Australia, picking out which outfit I am going to wear to my brothers funeral.

Not that it really matters. It's just gonna end up ruined because of make up running and everything, but I still need to look nice for the family.

"None of us want to Scar." Ashton said.

"I know but you can't possibly understand how hard this is gonna be for me. How am I supposed to go up in front of everybody and talk about my brother. I can't even talk to you about him without bawling my eyes out. Imagine what'll happen in front of the family." I explained.

"I'll stand there with you. I'll hold your hand and help you through it, and if you choke up to bad, I'll finish the speech for you." Ashton said, causing a very small smile to appear on my face.

"I saw that, it was small, but there was a smile there." Ash said.

I looked at him with the same small smile still present.

"You're the only person who has gotten me to smile all week." I confessed.

"I know. I needed to see it. You're so much more beautiful with a smile on your face." Ashton said before kissing my cheek and walking out of my room so I could get ready.

I put on my black tank top and just looked in the mirror t myself quickly. I can see him in my face. Everytime I look in the mirror now, all I see is him smiling back at me. I smiled at my reflection, as if I was smiling back at my brother.

I quickly put the rest of my outfit on and sat infront of the mirror to do my hair and make up. I made my hair wavy, and I did my usual simple eye make up, but added red lipstick.

I put my two favorite necklaces on, both were birthday presents from my brother when I turned sixteen, before I walked out my bedroom door an downstairs with the rest of my family.

The boys included, because they are, In fact my brothers.

"Are you ready Scar?" My dad asked me.

"No, but let's go before I chicken out and run off into the damn woods or something." I said.

We all walked out to the cars. so went with Ashton and the boys, because sitting in the car with my parents would just be hell.

Looking at them is gonna be hell for the rest of my life, because just like my own face, I see Mikey in theirs as well.

"Scar, don't worry about stuttering or anything. No one expects you to say all this without crying." Luke said. I nodded my head.

"I'll be there holding your hand. I promise." Ashton said to me.

I just stared at him, secretly freaking out inside because the thought of being in a car makes me sick now.

That's not weird right?

"Scar, once this is over you won't have to do it again for a while. I'm not leaving you behind anytime soon." Ash said to me grabbing my hand, while he is driving, which I don't like but I'll keep that to myself.

"Why can't it be never again? Why can't we all just live forever and save all the pain?" I asked him.

The boys all fell silent, they must know it was a rhetorical question, because the answer is already known by all of us.

"I wish it was the same way Scar. I really do." Luke said to me from the back seat.

"But it's not, and it can't be. That's the part that really sucks."