A chill went down Xie Lian's spine. His throat clamped at the thought. To remember the past. It was one of his lowest, darkest days when he had behaved worse than scum. The 800 years that had passed since had no effect on the roiling guilt he often felt.
Finding San Lang had eased his broken soul. Filled his heart with real joy and love. And helped him forgive himself. But being led to the ruined city of Yong'an just when his life had been changed for the better...
The thought of losing his San Lang again terrified him. Hua Cheng had already gone through so much for him, he didn't want his beloved to suffer more. He had to sort out the problem, before San Lang was hurt.
He took a deep breath to steady himself. And then he began.
***
It was during those black days after he had found his parents hanging in their little shack. Xie Lian had lost the little sanity that had remained. He had tried to end himself. Had tried desperately to escape. But the kindness of death never graced him.
Not long after White No-Face had found him. When everything had gone to hell. He was consumed in revenge. Raging like a monster, bidding his time to gather the evil spirits and unleash them on the innocents of Yong'an.
'Before...,' his voice stumbled. He swallowed again. Only San Lang knew the entirety of whatever had happened on that day. Not even Feng Xin and Mu Qing knew the details completely.
'Before Wuming,' Xie Lian shook his head. 'Before San Lang had sacrificed himself...some rogue spirits escaped.' His lungs shuddered as he breathed in.
'I couldn't stop them. I wasn't healed fast enough. They devoured a young family...'
Pity covered Mei Nianqing's face. Even after centuries his disciple was still suffering for his mistakes. He held Xie Lian's shoulder, anchoring him to reality.
'The young mother...she cursed me...that I did not deserve happiness for what I had done. For stealing her husband and their child...' Saying it out loud hurt profoundly more than the million times he played the memories in his head, contemplating what he could have done to save them.
Xie Lian swallowed. 'I saw her again. Wandering in the ruins of Yong'an...'
'She said that I did not deserve the happiness...' His voice broke as tears slipped past his jade white face.
He could tolerate a world without his parents, a world where his kingdom was in shambles; suffer another 800 years, but to loose San Lang again...
It was unbearable.
Precious tears dripped from his hazel. Xie Lian clutched his robes, quickly wiping away his tears before turning to his master.
'Is there anything that could be done to...to help the female ghost dissipate?' he asked, his voice hoarse from the suppressed sobs that hit him.
If he saw the pity on Goushi's face, Xie Lian didn't bother. He just needed a way to save his love.
Mei Nianqing frowned. his face twisting and contorting in all angles. This certain ghost Xie Lian described has apparently been roaming the realm of the dead for nearly 800 years. He couldn't help but awe at how powerful the will of a mother was. To have survived such long years with only vengeance for her child and husband to feed her yin energy...it was astounding and equally worrying.
'You should go home, Your Highness,' Goushi said, trying to not to give away his worries. 'Its nothing to be afraid of, probably just some pesky ghost, I will research on it if it still upsets you.'
'Yes,' Xie Lian said, his voice laced in fear. 'I'll go back to San Lang right now.'
With that Xie Lian disappeared into the snow storm.
YOU ARE READING
ANIME ONE-SHOTS (mostly HUALIAN)
FanfictionHe presses his forehead on mine. I was taken by surprise, but I don't mind. 'Visit more often,' he whispers as if someone would hear him. I took a deep breath. He smelled like soap and lemon and fresh grass. 'Definitely. You stay careful too,' I wh...
