Sonder

Chapter 5

Javier felt that something was off. The tension in the room was so thick, like a sword hanging above his neck. The way Xavian looked at him was different, it was far too cold and unfeeling.

Xavian's temperament changed so suddenly.

Javier felt uncomfortable looking into his eyes, Xavian never looked at him that way. He is used to seeing Xavian's black eyes, which are filled with love and adoration.

That it made Javier feel the love that he can't see in Damian's eyes.

Xavain looked similar to his Damian.

That is one of the reasons why Javier got together with him. However, unlike Damian. Xavian's eyes are gentle and warm in contrast to the cold, calculating look in Damian's eyes.

Maybe that's why he drowned in eyes last night. In order to kill of his loneliness he willing to indulge in this momentary bliss and happiness. It gave him something that he lacked, although it came from a person he didn't love.

It's a pity that he met Damian first, maybe if things were different, he would have loved someone like Xavian.

But their relationship was transactional anyway, he knew Xavian was struggling with money, and money wasn't a problem for Javier.

He will just give what Xavian needs to compensate for something Javier couldn't give.

"Let's break up." Xavian's voice was like a sharp knife that cut through the silent atmosphere. It was cold and merciless, yet he oddly sounded relief as if he had become free, like a bird that had regained its wings.

"What?" Javier thought his ears were deceiving him.

"I know you love Damian." Xavian's voice was deceivingly calm, as if he were just stating facts. There are no traces of anger or betrayal in his tone, yet the emotions in his eyes reveal what he truly feels.

Xavian knew that he should have done this a long time ago, but Xavian taught him that if he waited, Javier would learn to love him. He thought he would be satisfied if he just earned a small place in Javier's heart.

Javier felt his throat constricted, he didn't know how Xavian knew him.

He didn't remember talking about Damian, Javier never mentioned him in their conversation, so how did he know? Who told him?

"What are you talking about?"

Words speak silently in the air, and Xavian's eyes tell him that he knows. It was useless to deny it. Javier felt exposed both physically and emotionally. Everything that he tried to hide became exposed at this moment.

"He is just my friend." Javier sighs, trying to explain.

Just a friend.

Will you cancel a wedding just for a friend?

"We both know that is just a lie." Xavian felt tiredness seep into his bones, he heard those excuses countless times. Xavian felt tired of hearing it again and again, like a broken record.

"Especially how loudly you moaned his name last night, you were clearly thinking about him while doing it." Xavian's voice sounded so cold and indifferent as if it carried a physical chill that it froze Javier's heart.

Xavian could feel him struggling, he watched Javier try to make excuses he could latch onto. Xavian could almost see the gears turning on his head in his desperate attempt to find a way out.

It was actually quite...

Pathetic.

However, Xavian felt he was more pathetic when he used to believe this kind of excuse in the past.