Sonder

Alternative Universe

I'm really, really sorry for not updating. A lot of things happened this past weeks, and my sleep-deprived brain could barely function. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

⚠️ And a little warning for this AU, It contains a bit of a mature theme, and a certain ship would sink before it could even sail.

AU: Javier is the only one who returned to the past to change things.

_____

The familiar, loud music of the club rang in Javier's ears, and for a moment, it suppressed the thoughts in his head.

Javier felt a headache, he probably passed out again. All he remembered was that he was drinking a lot then everything went black. His body felt heavy, but he felt an arm around his waist support him.

Javier didn't know who was carrying him this time, but he felt that embrace was familiar...

It made him think about Xavian.

But it was impossible... Xavian is already dead.

It's been years.

Javier felt drowsy as he leaned against the man's embrace. A familiar scent entered his nose. Javier kept his eyes close, this embrace felt familiar. He was afraid that if he opened his eyes, he would be faced with reality. He would see another man, and it wasn't Xavian.

Javier just wanted to drown in his delusions, and maybe it would fill the void in his heart.

In order to kill off his loneliness, he lost count of how he slept with different men just to forget the pain, even for a moment.

Javier felt the apartment door click. Once they were inside, he pulled the man into a deep kiss. He wanted to grab anything that reminded him of Xavian. While keeping his eyes close, Javier tried to imagine the taste of Xavian's lips, his ragged breath, and his expressions.

Javier felt the man gently hold him.

"Javier, you're drunk. Are you sure you want to do this with me?"

It was something Xavian would say. The familiar breathless voice made Javier open his eyes. He saw familiar, dark, warm eyes looking at him and a face that he longed to see again.

Javier couldn't react for a moment; he taught that this was just one of his illusions. He shakily reached out to Xavian's face as he felt his tears well up uncontrollably.

He felt a comforting hand wipe away his tears. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

As if he were drowning, Javier desperately pulled Xavian into a deep kiss. He kept his eyes tightly closed; he was afraid that if he opened his eyes again, a different person would be looking at him.

This is just a dream, but why is it so vivid? He could feel a familiar warm hand caressing his back that could make all his pain and suffering disappear. It is a touch that he longed to feel again for years.

"Xavian.." Javier said in a breathy voice as he felt Xavian's toned arms wrap around his waist protectively, as if sensing the unhealed wounds that had collected on his heart.

Even if this was just a dream, he didn't want to wake up.

_

This was their first night, and Xavian didn't expect that it would be filled with so much emotion and sincerity.

But what surprised him the most was the way Javier opened up to him.

Xavian felt a bit embarrassed and somewhat happy as he remembered the scenes last night. Javier called his name a lot last night, and it made Xavian a bit nervous that their neighbors heard them.