Sonder

Chapter 14

Javier woke up with a splitting headache. He habitually touched the spot beside him, but it felt cold and empty.

Only then did he realize that he was alone in the apartment. Javier clenched the quilt with his hands. That's right, he already broke up with Xavian.

Xavian has already left him.

The room without Xavian felt desolate, and Javier felt his blood run cold.

After their separation, his days went slow. Javier hadn't seen Xavian for a long time, he should have been happy that Xavian didn't bother him after breaking up.

However, his heart felt strangely empty. Javier felt there was a missing piece inside of him, as if he had lost something important.

The silence is stifling. Javier got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He looks at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes look red from crying. There are dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights.

Javier could already imagine Xavian's reaction if he saw him like this. He would be so worried and would spend the rest of his day taking care of him.

Xavian is the type of person who will give his all just to see the person he loves look happy. That's why, when he was with Xavian, he could momentarily forget about Damian, even if it was just for a while.

His heart didn't ache that much when he was with Xavian.

Javier remembered the first time he met Xavian, he taught Xavian wasn't anything special, but the longer he spent time with Xavian, the more he felt emotions that he could hardly control.

It made him feel scared.

Does this sweetness had poison?

Xavian was supposed to be just a distraction, yet Javier finds himself slowly forgetting about the past.

Maybe it was because he hadn't felt such pure love that didn't ask for anything in return.

But now Xavian is also gone.

Javier has been hoping that Xavian would at least contact him, but he hasn't received a single call or text, Xavian actually dared to block him.

Javier slammed his fist on the sink, and water dripped down on his sharp chin. He had already given Xavian enough space, now it is time for them to talk properly.
______

We need to talk.

Xavian frowned at the message on his phone, he doesn't have time to deal with this. He didn't know why Javier suddenly wanted to talk to him. A familiar yet unwanted emotion surged up in Xavian's chest, he didn't like how Javier could easily affect his emotions.

He turned off his phone and ignored the hundreds of texts ranging from apologies, insults and guilt-tripping him to go back with Javier.

Even Javier's friends are texting and calling him to talk to him and give Javier a chance. Xavian tried to block them, but they always used a new number.

Whether it is now or then, Javier was really a shitty person.

Xavian wondered why he only realized this now. No, he had known it for a long time...

It's just that his love for this man made Xavian ignore a lot of his flaws and deny the truth.

Back then, he was such an idiot. He continue to crave even a speck of Javier's love, even when he is just using him.

However, the old Xavian is gone now.

Xavian was so used to this kind of tactic. Javier is still the same piece of trash from his memories. Xavian felt a surge of disgust swell up inside of him, but he forced himself to calm down. He put his phone in his pockets, there's a lot of things to do, he had no time for this.