PROMISES - LIES - REGRETS

Anti Depressive

It was finally the weekend of the most stressful week ever, with Carl leaving and all the things Ian did it has been horrible. I walked downstairs in just shorts and a tank top, not expecting anyone to be awake at 3AM in the morning.

As i walked downstairs i seen Jimmy and Fiona sitting at the table. "I swore you was meant to leave once we found Ian?"

"Nah i'm going to stick around a bit longer." He smiled at me with a beer bottle in his hand

"Ah okay, i only came for a glass of water. Night." I replied grabbing the bottle and walking up the stairs

Shortly after i fell asleep only to be awoke again by someone standing by my bed. I quickly turned over to see who the figure was.

Terry Milkovich

"No No No." I screamed trying to run away but he quickly grabbed my foot dragging me back into the room

"Your mine little girl." He laughed as he pinned me on the bed starting to unbutton my shirt

i began to scream as loud as i could to get away from my shitty father who was going to rape me like he did all those times before

"Please no." I sobbed

-
"Hey Hey, it's okay Rory your safe."

"Please stop." I sobbed as i quickly opened my eyes

"It was all a bad dream." Debbie held me tight

"i can't breathe." I gasped trying to control my breathing

"Deep breathes in and out, FIONA." Debbie screamed trying to get fiona's attention

"What." She ran up the stairs straight into my room

"She's having a panic attack, i don't know what to do." Debbie replied

"Rory look at me, how many fingers am i holding up?" She asked as she held up 2 fingers

"2."

"Okay good, how many eyes do i have?" She also asked me to distract my brain

"2." My breathing began to slow down

"Keep focusing on me okay, keep doing deep breathes." She went to hug me but i flinched

"Your dream was about dad wasn't it?" Mickey was stood in the door way "Fuck."

"Im sorry." I sobbed into Fiona's arms which were finally wrapped around me

"You have nothing to be sorry for, go back to sleep it's 4AM." She kissed my forehead as she left the room

But that night i couldn't fall asleep, i couldn't close my eyes without seeing my abusive fathers face. I was so glad it was the weekend and i didn't have school.

At around 7AM i heard Lip get up ready for collage, since i was already awake i decided to head into the shower.

"Hey Lip." I smiled at him drowsily

"You look like shit." He laughed began to walk down the stairs

"Asshole." i hit his head as i walked into the bathroom, just like every morning i took a piss but this time the razor that i had used just the day before was right besides me

Surley if i do it once more it won't hurt, nobody will notice. I mean i deserve it anyways so why shouldn't i do it.

It was turning into a daily thing now just like it did 6 months ago, but i needed to feel bad for how i destroyed my family.