"Have you been staring at the ceiling all night?" Debbie whispered over to me, trying not to wake the sleeping baby
"Yeah." i turned over to her
"Rory will you just take your meds?" Debbie begged
"Fine." i hesitated as i got out of bed
"Just take one." She smiled at me
"hm." I replied as i walked down the stairs turning the light on, i found my untouched prescription bottle sitting in the cupboard next to Ian's.
I grabbed 4 of the pills as had them in one go. I had no idea why i just felt like that would make them work a lot faster, i was ready to go back to being me even if i didn't know what i felt like
Rory has bipolar, and despite being well versed in the depression, the mania, and the unpredictability that comes with a mental disorder, it will never get easier. Frankly, it only gets harder. Knowing what she's up against is an advantage, sure, but that rational, intelligent part that knows herself is often locked out of her own mind during a crisis.
So even if she may not want to accept it, she needs to atleast come to terms that she won't get better unless she tries. The quicker she comes to terms with it the quicker she can get better.
She knows that she feels happy now, most likely because of the mania but when things are "good", she's blinded to the rain clouds moving in, the inevitable depression that consumes her heart and soul with unrelenting hunger, drowning her cries for help.
She was sick of feeling that way, she knew because of Monica's death it will trigger her into some kind of depression. She hated not feeling in-control of her own mind, lying there for days and days on end.
She also wanted to stop worrying her family so much, get her life back on track. Despite her mental illness she still felt responsible for everything she has caused over the past 6 months.
3 suicide attempts, not eating for days on end, scars covering every inch of her body. It needed to stop. Even if the medication won't stop her from feeling insane, it will help prevent how long or how severe those episodes are.
I looked at myself in the mirror, my faded black hair really needed to be redyed. It was getting disgusting now, i didn't wash it for about 2 weeks straight. Fuck i felt so disgusting
I walked over to the bathroom and put the black hair dye in my hair, leaving some space to dye the ends blue. Why was i doing this at 4AM i had no idea. I believe that Debbie had fell asleep aswell since she needs to be up for school at 6AM.
I waited around 30 minutes for the hair dye to finally set in. The meds really really kicking in now though, i knew they would give a sedative affect in till they balanced out but i didn't expect it to be this bad.
I really needed to wash out my hair dye but the idea to fall asleep felt amazing. I hadn't slept all night so if i closed my eyes for a few minutes surly it would get away that sleepiness.
—
"Yeah debs let me just brush my teeth." Lip told his sister as he walked into the bathroom "Jesus Ror."
He noticed the unwashed hair dye in her hair, it was smudged all up along the bathtub and down her hands, shoulders and forehead.
"I took my meds." I smiled as i woke up realising i didn't wash out my hair dye "Fuck."
"I'm proud of you for taking your meds Rory, but you shouldn't of died your hair." He rolled his eyes as he laughed
"I'm going to get better i promise." I smiled still dazey from the medication
"Who has been in Rory's medications? FRANK?" Fiona shouted from downstairs which made Mickey run down the stairs aswell
"What do you mean." He quiestioned
"Rory's meds are gone." She showed the nearly empty bottle of pills on the side
"Rory told me she took her meds." Lip realised what had happened
"I only took 4." I replied confused
"What the fuck is in your hair." Debbie laughed not realising that her 'sister' has almost overdosed
"Hair dye I'm washing it out now."
"Rory you have took way to many of your meds." Mickey ran up to me
"I could've sworn i only took 4." I rolled my eyes as i washed the hair dye out
"You took 11 Rory, your lucky you haven't overdosed." Lip was also moaning at me
"For fuck sake, i took them so i could be happier for your guys sake. The more i take the quicker it will kick in."
"It's not how it works Rory, believe i've tried it." Ian grabbed the shower head as he helped me wash it out
"Thanks." I half smiled at him "I promise i didn't mean to take that many, i don't know how it happened."
"Rory we love you, we just don't want you hurting yourself." Mickey grabbed my hand
"I know, i'm sorry i keep messing everything up."
"It's not your fault." Ian tried to tell me
"Yeah it is, i chose not to be on the meds."
"Your brain when your on the meds, makes you think everything is horrible. It stops you from taking them." Ian shampooed my hair as he was talking
"Aw the shitty gene pool bonding." Lip laughed
"SAMMY FUCK OFF." Frank shouted as he ran up the stairs "THE PHYSCO SHOT ME."
"Who the fuck is she." I laughed as i pulled my hair into a towel
"Sammy my oldest daughter." He replied as he climbed out the window
"WHAT." Lip shouted "Another Gallagher?"
"Your joking." Mickey was shocked
"Daddy come back, i didn't mean to." She followed him out the window
"What the fuck has just happened?" Fiona questioned
"Frank has an older daughter." I blurted out
"Fucking Gallaghers." Mickey rolled his eyes
YOU ARE READING
PROMISES - LIES - REGRETS
FanfictionRory Milkovich is the youngest Milkovich in the family. She is 14 years old and completely different to her siblings. She practically lives with the Gallagher family since her dad abused her since she was very young, causing her to even get pregnan...
