Keith Kogane x Reader One-Shots

39 - Prank Wars

You and Keith had always been a playful couple, as hard as his friends found that to believe. For someone so brooding and serious, no one expected him to be so into pranking you. However, lo and behold, three years into your relationship, you were still playing pranks on one another, somehow never seeming to get bored of the endless mucking about.

Keith, in your opinion, played much crueller pranks. He was cheeky around you, always coming up with new ways to scare, tease or jump-scare you. So, it was no surprise when, a few weeks back, he decided to pull the most infuriating prank of all time.

You were five months pregnant. Not exactly planned, but you were both ecstatic nonetheless, especially since the war had finally died down, and you had settled into your new home. When you found out, it was more than a shock, to say the least, but the two of you found yourselves adjusting to the idea pretty quickly, with all of your friends being as accommodating as possible.

The first trimester was difficult, as most women tend to find. Morning sickness hit you like a bus, keeping you up at all hours of the night, and the fatigue left you in tears on the days you were so restless that you couldn't cope with everyday life. Keith was there every step of the way, offering a helping hand and comfort when you needed it most, even if that meant working from home for days at a time.

As you entered the second trimester, cravings came into play. Whatever appetite you had lost over the past twelve weeks, you gained back pretty quickly by your fourth month. Cakes, chocolate, crackers: you name it, you craved it. One of the most intense cravings you found you had, however, was fast food. Specifically, Taco Bell. Keith's favourite place to eat.

Now, Keith had already made a risky play the other day, when you mentioned wanting a toasty shower to soothe your aching muscles. The ravenette immediately offered to set it up for you, suggesting you relax on the sofa for a bit with your favourite show until he was done, which you, of course, agreed to, flicking on Outnumbered in an attempt to relax your mind and body.

Around ten minutes later, a shout came from the stairs, and you heaved yourself off of the couch, walking up the stairs and into the bathroom, ready to loosen up your body. But you almost had a fit when you saw what your boyfriend had done.

Rather than giving you a nice, toasty shower like you had mentioned wanting, he had strategically balanced pieces of toast across every surface inside the shower possible, placing them anywhere from on top of the shower head to amongst your endless bottles of hair products.

"Keith,", you smiled sinisterly, completely calm as you folded your arms over your chest. He flinched, eyes widening as he backed away. "Just so I understand correctly, I, your pregnant girlfriend, asked very kindly if I could have a toasty shower, and you give me this. A bathroom full of pieces of toast?"

"I was trying to get ahead on my dad jokes, darling,", he tried to explain, moving forward and placing his hands cautiously onto your hips as he pecked your forehead. Though he appeared calm, Keith was shitting himself. He'd never seen you so calm, yet so furious before. So, he scrambled to fix it. "Do you not like it?"

"I'd like it even more if I was getting to stand under the shower head and stop my aches,", you replied, turning away from him and leaving the room, anger bubbling up inside of you as he silently cursed at himself, fighting the urge to laugh at his sheer genius.

But he didn't stop there. No, Keith had more in stock for you. Barely three days later, he decided to mess with your food.

On his way home from work, you had rung him, begging him to pick up some Taco Bell for dinner since you'd be home a little later than him, but wanted to eat as soon as you got back. Being your ever-loving boyfriend, he agreed and ordered your favourite.

When he got home, he carefully peeled it out of its packaging and placed it in the oven to keep it warm, then wrote a little note for you to find before wrapping that in some tissue paper, and carefully encasing it in the packaging of your food. Then, he slipped it into the bag and left it innocently on the countertop, a bottle of your favourite drink beside it, before going upstairs to shower and change.

By the time he'd gotten back downstairs, you were lying down on the sofa, Taco Bell bag sitting discarded on the table in front of you. Straining his ears, he realised you were crying, so he quickly ran into the kitchen and put your food onto a plate, then brought it in.

"Love, did you like your surprise?", he asked, slipping beside you and placing the plate down as his hands rubbed your legs. Growling, you pulled your knees up, as far as you could with your growing stomach, and kicked him. "Okay okay, I'm sorry. But I have your food right here!"

"You're the best,", you chirped, shooting up and snatching the plate before leaning against his shoulder and flipping the tv on. He heaved a sigh of relief, easing his arm around your shoulder before snuggling up and watching your show.

You'd had a few weeks to plot revenge since then. After plotting behind his back with Lance, you had concluded the most effective punishment would be a jump scare. You'd hide in the closet just before he got home from work, then when he opened it, he'd freak out, and you'd have your payback for all those pranks he'd had the gall to play on you over the past few months.

So, you set things into motion. After receiving the "I'm on my way home, love. See you soon <3" message, you waited fifteen minutes, setting the kitchen up, and walking back upstairs, sliding into the dark space with slight difficulty, given the extra weight.

From then on, it was a waiting game. Your heart skipped a beat upon hearing the front door open, and you braced yourself to scare him, knees bent in anticipation as you heard the footsteps grow nearer. From a small gap, you were able to observe the sluggish movements of your boyfriend as he lazily undressed and threw on some pyjama pants, walking to the closet before shaking his head and walking away, clearly having decided against a shirt. Then, he left the bedroom, retreating downstairs.

You waited there for an hour, waiting for him to realise you weren't in the house, but there was no such concern from your normally doting partner. So, gradually, you grew drowsy and found yourself curling up on the closet floor and dozing off for a tad too long.

---

"Darling, wake up,", the soft cooing of your boyfriend made you begrudgingly open your eyes, revealing to you the sight of your half-asleep boyfriend, eyes filled with concern. As you shifted, you realised why. During your attempt at pranking him, you had fallen asleep in the corner, leaving you all sore and achy from the awkward position. "What are you doing in the closet, love?"

"Mm, was tryna prank you,", you replied, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Chuckling, he smoothed your hair away from your forehead and planted a kiss on your temple, about to move away when your hands gripped his waistband. "'m tired. Can we cuddle?"

"'Course we can. Let's get you out of here first, though,", he swooped you up into his arms, his Galra strength coming in quite handy now that you were starting to get to the larger stage of your pregnancy, and set you down onto the bed before hopping in beside you. Humming in delight, you snuggled into his side, head resting in the crook of his neck. His hand gravitated towards the soft skin of your stomach, which he gave a gentle pat before pecking your nose. "I think we know now that I'm better at pranks, huh?"

"Your fault I'm not good at this,", you huffed, earning a laugh.

"How's it my fault, my love?"

"Your kid is making me tired all the time. 'M not as good as I used to be,", you reasoned, pouting as you looked up at him. With a shake of his head, he tutted.

"Oh, so now it's my kid?", he asked. "You told me off for saying that last week when I was talking to Pidge,"

"Don't you dare, Kogane. I will yank your hair out of your scalp,", you warned. He smirked.

"Y'know, I don't think I'd mind that,"

"Kinky ass,"

---

A/N: Hey reader, hope you enjoyed this one-shot!! Third one in two days, but I couldn't resist. I saw something while I was scrolling the other day, and I thought I'd make it into a new one-shot for you all!! Hope you're all doing well, and having a good day/night. I'll see you in the next one!! - Gracie