Why everything is so exciting?

Part 1. Chapter 11.

Arriving home, I quickly went to the bar to pour himself a whiskey that would drown out all the pain that now I am overwhelmed. It hurts. Terribly it hurts to look at it as he hugs his wife, and then stroking my leg. Thinking about it again, go through the body shivers. What is he doing to me? I even think about it I can not because I think about it. I can not think about it. Just can not. Next week will arrive William and I forget everything that happened tonight. I assure you. I forget. No forget. I'm going back to see him every day. It is as if specially waits meeting. Is it so simple? See me, kiss me spend the night, and then quietly go to his wife? No, Lord, what I think, the main thing that I do is not easy! It hurts. It makes me sad that that is trying to show that he is ready for everything, but really .. But actually I do not know what he's done. No, what he did not dare, I can not destroy the family of his daughter. She is happy and this is important. We Rufus had had the chance, and not even one, we just have to understand that we're through. Forever. Whatever happens, we must not approach each other ... After I did not realize that she finished her whiskey bottle, I decided to dial the number of Rufus, waiting for an answer, and listening to these long horns, the heart ceased pounding ...
- Hello, yes.
- Rufus, that I ...
- Decided?
- Yes. I came to that that we should not stir up anything - from what I was already drunk and even language became so nervous totter.
- Lily, are you drunk?
- I? No, Rufus, we're not talking about me! We're talking about us!
- You sure you got drunk, about what we have? So all the same to us?
- About us. But separately. Do you understand? About as .. as matchmakers.
- Yeah, you really think so?
- Yes. - I said quietly because it was trying to lie to myself, of course I did not want this, but it should be.
- He was silent for a moment, and somewhere in that time my heart just pounding in my throat was dry and I just listened to his breathing, then the noise of cars ..
- Are you on the street?
- Yes, I go to the store .. Clarissa sent. - I laughed wildly - She sends you to the store? Seriously, Humphrey? She still can not get used to the fact that he lives on the Upper East Side, and there is no need to send her husband to the store.
- What do you care?
- Well, we're friends. I'm worried - I just laughed again
- Lily, stop drinking!
- Rufus, not those ...- I wanted him rude answer, but realized that his voice came not only from the handset and somewhere near ... I turned my head and realized that he was standing 15 meters behind me, I He hung up abruptly stood up from his chair and looked at him.
- Do not even think, Humphrey, stay there, do not hike! - He stepped forward smiling, and I would not that close to him took a step back.
- Lily, come on, I'm not a maniac. - He quickly came up to me and took a glass!
- I think you ought to have to sleep!
- Do not you my stack! I have a husband for that.
- Which is not at home! Let's go into the bedroom and put you to sleep, and I can lie down next to - I laughed again - Humphrey, you're too old for such jokes. Go home. Although simple. - I went to the couch and took off his shirt to which today bought at the store.
- By the way, I went for it and he gave me the package and took the shirt.
- I like her! - He smiled and looked at me
- I am happy, but it is the same that I broke you.
- By the way, it was the shirt you gave me last year at Christmas.
- I looked away because I knew about it and remember it, but I did not have to show the mean
- Yes? Coincidence is what!
- Wait, what is that look. Do you remember about it. You knew about this and that so I wanted to buy a new one. You wanted that I would have at least something left of you. But I do not need a shirt, Lil, you're always with me because I still love you. I do not know how I'm still standing on their feet right now. I was very worried when I see you. I start to shake hands and I confuse the words ...
- Yes, I saw. I saw you with these hands hugged his wife. And you have a right!
- Lily, I did it only for that would annoy you, what would you jealous and thought you loved me! But this came Carlos and things did not go according to plan, and I began to be jealous.
- Yes, I do not need to remember that I love you - I almost cried, because I no longer have the strength to hide it. I knew or I'm going to cry, or scream, and I chose the lesser of two evils! - Do not need to, because I never forgot about it! All the difficulties that occurred between us, all this is nothing compared to the fact that I still love you and I probably will not be able to stop loving.
- Why, Lil, I'm here, I'm here, in this very moment I can go tell my wife that we split up, and for the sixth divorce you will be quite commonplace. - He threw his shirt on the sofa, came so close that our foreheads touching each other, and I longed for the fact that he kissed me ...
- No. Not so. Just not the happiness of our children. - He gasped and looked into my eyes, Lord his eyes, after he smiled looking at me, my head was spinning and I put a hand on his shoulder that would not fall.
- Lily van der Woodsen, if not the happiness of our children, how? I am ready to do anything for you. Remember that. We can not live without each other, and when we next ...
- And when we close there some sort of reaction, and I really want to kiss you
- He smiled and I felt his lips on her, it was all a blur, I let her fingers through his hair, and he held his hands over his cheek, scheee, talie ... This caused such excitement that I just could not hold back his emotions. .. He lifted me up in his arms and carried her into the guest room. When he entered, he gently laid me on the bed and started kissing every centimeter of my body and I thought that the time has stopped, that there was all these years lived without him, I just dreamed that he would become my ...