Why everything is so exciting?

Part 2. Chapter 3.

While I was riding the elevator to the roof, everything inside was shaking, my heart took off, and the breath left. Then the elevator door opened in front of me and opened a great view of New York.
- You're still here? - I turned my head and saw Rufus, who was standing with his back to me while taking an evening view of New York City.
- I never rises to the roof, and for good reason. Gorgeous sunset is not it? The feeling that it will rain during the night.
- Why did you call me? - He's on his hands bardyur lowered his head down looking at the tiny people .. - You wanted to say goodbye?
- To say goodbye? Lily say goodbye?
- No?
- No, I'm not going to fly. ALL that happened a few hours ago put me in a deadlock. But I'm sure that I did not want to leave New York - a city he visited, and finally I saw his face. He turned to me continuing the conversation - New York, it's my life. I grew up here. It seems to me that if I fly away from here then cease to exist. I hate this island. The island where everything reminds me of you. But I can not leave everything and fly to hell, another continent because of nonsense.
- I thought that you were unfaithful to his wife and that she is pregnant, it is no small matter - I also went to the bardyurchiku, putting his hands on him, but there was a few steps away from the big Rufus.
- Yeah, it's no small thing, but sometimes it seems that nothing is irrelevant. Especially when I look at you.
- Do not look. You leave, never to see me, you will make it easier - in the street was a breeze and my tear rolled down his cheek quickly and flew somewhere down .. - everything will be easier.
- It will be easier to William and Clarice, but that is not us.
- Why? Why can not you just fly away, drop everything and fly away. Start a new life. Start with a clean slate. Just leave it all behind. After you have this chance!
- Fly. You're so easy to talk about it. You would be able to. Now just answer! Quit all.!? Family. Our family! Children, friends. You would be able to leave me? Throw the city, look at this city - he ran his hand over the panorama of the city and peered into my eyes from what I went goose - The town where you lived since childhood, where there were, where your children are grown up, where are you the first time I love. Could be, Lily, answer please do not be silent! - The last sentence, he almost shouted looking me in the eye while holding her hand outstretched to the city, as if he held on to it, then, and then slammed his hand on the bardyurchiku and on it went vibration and I moved away from him. I looked into his eyes and saw that he is about to let the tears from what most have gone tears.
- I. I do not know .. - I thought that I was screaming, I thought that now inside, I pore muscles voices seemed that a little bit and I will start to get a headache, on the strength of my crying .. I was like not on this planet. Rufus almost lip-read my answer, because I do not have the strength to speak louder. I realized I was crying, I realized that all my strength, headache, no matter what I scream and cry from that. I've never cried in public. No one ever saw my tears. But today, today I seemed to have forgotten about everything .. Rufus started to come to me and I'm happy somewhere in the depths of the soul, but the distance between us did not decrease. I just do not understand how that cry, did not understand what I am going back. It seemed to me that this is how the flow of clouds in my head. I did not know what to do and then stopped. Rufus did the same and I was comforted. I do not know how long we stood like that. A minute or two, it did not matter, it seemed to say that there was nothing and we had to end the conversation. I said, "do not know", and he just said, look, "that's it." Our conversation was over for the logic, but not for us. We stood on the roof and just looked at each other. The sun had set, but the sky was still pink. Yet what that would be unthinkable hour and already dark. But who cares, when is the fate of two people. I did not know what to say at that moment, he did not know what to say, maybe that was going to happen next was known to God alone, and we are now closer than ever to him. We stand on the open roof with a strong but warm wind and it seemed that the silence that has cut rumor not stop .. I do not know how to have the courage to say something, especially because I have not finished crying .. I sobbed and tried to say something but since he interrupted me .. - I ..
- Do you know, I already knew. And what do you want from me, even if you are, Lily van der Woodsen do not know how would have done. You know, I'd love to ask how I could do, but I fear that you will say that I need to fly, and the dreams have to do your will, and I do not want to ..
- Rufus, do not you think that every time we have a choice, do we do it correctly, but for some reason, he again comes back to us?
- Maybe it's time we make the wrong choice?
- We have already done it! - There is, I heard that I almost cried, and Rufus replied in the same tone ..
- And Was it bad ?? Do we live or bad ..
- Neet !!! Everything was fine until you betrayed me!
- But things have changed !! Now it's different!
- What changed?
- And you remember. What was I then? Husband? Stepfather? Musician. Now we are on an equal Lily, I was just like you.
- Maybe it scares me?
- You scared again that you love me! Again, Lil, you know? You have all the same concerns as before.
- And no wonder!
- In vain vain, believe me, nothing !! - He came over and put his arm around my shoulders - Leal, who we are is not important, the main thing that we see, and we see what we want to see.
- Rufus. All that happens to us is the bridge by which we always go.
- But?
- But there comes a moment, and Bridge is falling down! And we die. Every time we go through it.
- Maybe we should just find another bridge? Or why do we need a bridge, I swim swim the entire ocean though, just to be with you, to see you smile, I always thought it the most beautiful in the world. - On the street was dark, there was not an hour and less, though, maybe an hour, who knows, Rufus told for so long that everything will be different, I believe. Without wasting a minute, he decided to fix everything said so than I feared. He kissed me. So gently, timidly, as a young man for the first time kissing his girlfriend. - We are together, Lil, do you hear? There were together, is and always will be. I'm near.