THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS

21. OSCAR WINNING PERFORMANCE

AMARA
It's hard to silence the voices when you have nothing to distract you. The demon of pain lingers in the air waiting for the right moment to take a peace out of you

At the beach house the voices would be unbearable but when I was Ethan and Xander the voices and demon of pain couldn't harm me

I'm not proud of how things went I could have stuck to one guy but one wasn't enough to silence the hurtful words in my own head at this point my mind belongs to the voices and I'm the flesh holding them in
I just needed more solace

I can't say things have been better but the are not worse
I'm back to feeling like a dear not knowing when the lion will make its move but still alert sensing danger because I'm not out of the woods yet

Its a cold Saturday, no literally summer is over and fall is here and I couldn't be happier. I'm also not working today, normally I would be happy but I have no where to go so im stuck in this house with these psychos

The house is deadly silent
Micheal is home but he hasn't done anything yet since I came back two days ago

Maybe things have changed maybe things have gotten better his gotten better

I spoke too soon
I hear a bottle break and I groan
I run downstairs and a bottle comes flying my way but I manage to duck before it could hit me

"What the fucks wrong with you" I yell at him
"You seriously need help"
"Shut up" He comes and grabs my wrist harshly

I'm not taking this today
I kick him in the gut and run out the door

My phone rings as I walk along the road

"Hey Xander"
"Hi Amara I need your help"
"Whatsup"
"My mums coming over for dinner and I need help cooking also you're invited for dinner" I laugh lightly
"I'd love to help"
"Thank you I'll come pick you up in 15min"
"Okay" and I hang up

I turn back to my house and sit outside not wanting to go inside I don't want his mum seeing me with a black eye

(Background song )

He pulls up and we drive to his place
His house is warmer than outside
I take off my hoodie and walk with him to the kitchen

After 2hours we start working on the dessert
"Xander!" I smuck him on the arm
"Oops it was an accident" He laughs lightly at the flour on my face

"Righttt" I say and carry on I put flour on his face and he gaps
"Oops it was accident" I smirk

He chases me around the kitchen with the bag of flour in his hands
He catches up to me and polls flour on my head

"My hair" I scream
"Now we're even"
"No we're not, I need a shower"

I walk to his room and get in the bathroom
I take off my clothes and get in the shower cleaning the floor off

I get out and put of his Tshirt and boxes
I walk downstairs to the kitchen
"What do you think" I pose
"Absolutely breathtaking" He smiles

I walk over and sit on the counter
He comes and stands in between my legs
He rubs my thighs tenderly and kisses me softly

He pulls away for a second before our lips collide again
He pulls me closer against him and wraps a hand around my neck