Here And Now

17. A Strong Woman

April

I sit on the edge of the bed. The breakfast that I ate this morning waging a war in my belly. I take two deep breathes, however that doesn't seem to do anything. I rush into the bathroom and heave over the toilet bowl.

Weston rushes in behind me and bunches up my hair over my shoulder but I kick at his legs.

I don't want him to touch me ever again. Not even to help me.

Once I have emptied my the contents of my breakfast, I lean back onto the bathtub and try to gain some of my composure back.

I stand up and rinse my mouth. Glancing up into the faucet mirror, I don't like the woman that stares back at me.

No, I don't like the woman that is staring back at me at this moment.

I never had any problems where I hated myself, was insecure or doubted myself. But ever since I found out that Weston had been cheating on me, all of my thoughts can be categorized in one of the lot.

Was it me?

Something must have changed in me.

Perhaps, it was my body that changed after two children that sent him off to seek the warmth of another woman.

Or was it the fact that even after numerous efforts from him I refused to leave my job and become a homemaker like his mother.

Or how much time I spent at my job.

Maybe I was too busy juggling the kids and job that I forgot to pay any attention to him.

Was it my fault?

No.

After listening to the grotesque retelling of how his affair started, I know now.

It was not me.

Nothing changed about me. I was and still am the same April.

My body has changed, and worked my ass off to get back into shape. My two children have given me the gift of motherhood and I will never be regretful about it.

If the reason for his cheating was something as misogynistic and petty as me being passionate about my job and not leaving it to become a "family" woman, then he can kiss his fucking life goodbye.

The only reason that I was too busy to give him any attention was because he had already started cheating on me, unbeknownst to me, and I had to do the job of both parents at home.

I stand up straight, my body rejuvenated.

My mother spent 21 years of her life making me into the strong woman she wanted me to be, I have spent the last 8 years without her but still carrying her most precious strength in me.

I will not let a fucking disgusting piece of shit cheating husband break me like that.

"April?" Weston sounds scared.

He damn right should be.

"Was that all?"

"What?" He sounds dumbfounded.

"I said, was that all? Are you done or is there even more to this?"

"I told you everything, cupcake." He calls me by the nickname he gave me when we started dating. His eyes look sad now, so different from the once confident man who I thought would just be another blind date but later became the love of my life.

Is he though?

"So you didn't go with her to London?"

His face pales.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

I raise an eyebrow at him. When I storm past him I make sure to give him a wide berth, the mere smell of him is disgusting to me now.

When I stride into his office, he trails behind me, clutching my hand in his.

"Cupcake, April, wait. I'm sorry I lied-"

I slam open the drawer and throw the polaroid at him.

"I don't even care anymore, Weston. Go on all the fucking trips you want now, because our marriage? It's over."

He gasps like a fish out of water. His eyes are becoming as red as his face.

"Expect the divorce papers, ex-husband." I give him a Cheshire smile despite feeling like a havoc inside.

I walk out of the house with much difficulty. Not because the house is pulling me towards it with some emotional strings, no. But because Weston skitters behind me all the way to my car.

Begging and crying.

I turn on my car and push on the gas. With one last look at him in the mirror, I give him the finger before speeding off.

***

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