Here And Now

11. A Faithful Companionship

"I mean, um, no the room will only be for me and my children." I look anywhere but at the receptionist and Jackson.

After my tiny outburst at the woman for calling for calling Jackson my husband, I turned red and muttered an apology.

It's not her fault though, with the way Dexter is dressed, a black tuxedo, it looks like him and Jackson are twinning.

"Oh, um, sorry. Here follow after me Ms. Jennings."

I turn to face Jackson, we stood silently as I continued to ignore him.

"I am truly thankful for you for helping me and sorry to have ruined your evening." I channel my professionalism.

His eyes crinkle the tiniest bit, making their hazel color glossy under the bright lights of the lobby. He then shakes his head and turns around to leave.

"See you later, April."

I stare at his back, at the leisurely walk, the hands that are in his pants pocket, the head full of hair, before I turn around and follow the hostess.

***

I sigh as I sit lie down on the bed. After we got the room, I had to bath a sleepy Kayla and a cranky Dexter.

Now both of them are sleeping side by side on the second bed next to mine. I arranged some pillows beside them so that they won't fall off the bed.

I remove the towel from my hair and cross my legs on the bed.

I remain that way.

I don't know how long I stay just like that.

I think I vaguely feel the numbness in my muscles from the lack of rest.

I think I feel the burn behind my eyelids from too much crying and not blinking.

I definitely feel my eyes watering when I continue to stare off into the mahogany floor of the hotel room.

I don't know how many will call me out saying I am overreacting.

So what? Cheating spouses are more common than you think, April.

Them men, Mamacita, they are all after one thing. Feeding their pride. I can hear Mama's cynical voice cooing in my ear.

I want to scream at her, scream at them that no, My Weston isn't like...isn't lik-k-k-

God, have I fallen in such despair that I can't even think straight. I stutter on my thoughts.

I wonder if they'll mock me if they could sense the earthquake of emotions inside me.

Earthquake. Everyone always compares their anger and despair to Storm. However I suppose mine is similar to the trembles of the earth. The trembles that quake, break and smolder everything in its pathway until only smoke remains. Then the lava cools down and hardens into rock.

I wonder how long it will be before my heart solidifies into a rock.

Cool, rough, dead.

My heart burns now.

But I don't seem to be able to give to my bodily urges.

I can't give in when my body screams in pain, telling to rest.

No.

I remain stiff, straight and completely zoned out because...

Because my heart burns.

My eyes burn because they keep seeing...him. With her.

My muscles ache because they seek the warmth. The embrace of someone who has betrayed me.

Body. Soul. Heart. Mind.

I feel something burn my right cheek. Then my left cheek.

My eyes become cloudy and my vision blurs.

I don't know how long I remain still.

I don't know who'll understand my pain.

One thing I know for certain. Pain is my new companion.

Finally, a sardonic smile twists my face as I come to a realization.

"Pain won't leave me, it'll remain a faithful companion."

***

Next update: 13/8

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