Here And Now

25. Misery and Panic

"No. First you didn't tell me you were leaving, then you didn't pick up any of my calls, now you are not telling me the truth! I am not gonna forgive you."

"Babe, don't be dramatic, she's here and she told you everything didn't she?" Oliver strokes Mattie's hair back.

"Yes, please forgive me Mattie." I pleaded with him giving him puppy dog eyes.

He huffy before taking my hands in his.

"Okay, but don't ever do that okay? Do you know how scared I was when I couldn't find you anywhere and you weren't even answering my calls? You thank that Elizabeth for telling me you went home with Jackson otherwise I was gonna call the cops."

I go to fiddle with the bracelet on my hand but I don't find it.

Right, I forgot it at Jackson's place.

"Speaking of her, where is she?" I wiggle my eyebrows at them playfully.

"Oh, please. Poor girl was devastated when we turned her down."

"Couldn't fathom why we would reject her." Oliver chuckles.

"Doesn't matter though. Soon after her ex husband, who by the way is the owner of the club, dragged her off."

"What?" My eyes widen.

"Chill, it didn't look malicious. He looked worried because she was so drunk, seems like you are not the only one with a clingy ex." Mattie says.

"I still can't believe you slept with Jackson." Oliver shakes his head, amused.

Neither can I.

I look down at my hands at that, my fingernails suddenly very interesting.

"Oli!" Mattie smacks his thigh.

"What? I didn't mean it in a bad way, I meant it in a badass way!" He defends himself.

"Where are the kids?" I ask them, changing the subject.

"Sleeping." Mattie nodded towards the spare bedroom that was temporarily the kids' room.

I got up and opened the door. Kayla and Dexter were huddled together under the covers. My heart warmed at that sight. My heart beats within each of you, my babies.

Suddenly, I was overcome with immense guilt. I was such a horrible mother. What kind of woman goes out to her divorce party and hooks up with ex husband's boss while her kids remain home, unaware.

My nose tingles and eyes start to burn, I look up quickly, trying to swallow back the tears.

Not now.

I sniffle and close the door silently when I hear footsteps behind me.

Mattie's expression is cautious when he looks at me and I am immediately on alert.

"What?" I ask him.

"You know you did nothing wrong right? You shouldn't feel guilty for sleeping with Jackson." He diverts.

"You seem to have something else on your mind, Mattie. Spill." Or maybe I am the one diverting.

"Well...come we'll sit and talk." He drags me off to the kitchen.

I find Oliver already seated with a welcoming but cautious smile. My awareness goes through the roof.

"What's happening Mattie? Are you dying?" I almost cry.

"No, silly." He chuckles nervously. He goes to stand beside Oliver and drapes his hand onto his shoulder.

"Me and Oli are moving in together."