Hey Love,
Tell me what's going on in that head.
We need to work out and do some Rebecca. I also have a ton of designs I just need to upload them.
I miss you. I love you.
I'm sorry that I didn't do my job better in this relationship. I was selfish - when I should've poured more love into you I didn't. I let myself get caught up in my own feelings.
You are worth it
——-
- no babe.
If that's the meaning you have taken from my words it is Wrong.
By landed I simply meant I had mentally resolved the issues we were arguing over. Please let's not do the thing where we take a metaphor way too far.
I want you.
Please don't create a new meaning from my words. I fucking hate metaphors
Past tense because I don't want to do those things to you again I want to be better than that in our Ongoing Continuing Forever relationship
—//
I wrote a couple letters last night. I was terrified bc I thought You were dumping Me. And clearly you thought it the other way
—-
Let me simplify- Love I'm yours, if you'll have me.
I need time to get into your arms physically but we'll do it.
What can I do to get your mind back
— my nightmares are back- I had to dismantle 30 human bodies and hide all the parts. All that was left was a bag full of hearts. My plan for those was to feed them to a dog.
- oh Medical thing I should mention. There's a small spot of painful pressure in my left leg. It used to be behind my knee but now it sits higher, about 20cm above knee, back of leg to the left side. It keeps me awake at night for hours and no position I lie in removes the intense pressure. I have previously told my Dr I reckon it's a blood clot. She says it was a bakers cyst.
—-
Can we just do an activity where we design our house together and discuss what we want to include in it
—-
Love of my life you are scaring me. I've never been more frightened
I feel like I can't breathe
My boss was just worriedly asking if I'm okay
I'm trying not to cry. Started panic shopping
- your short sentences are exactly what I needed
—-So I had a period of months where I could not sleep. I'd climb into bed and lie there for hours before climbing out again. Then a suggested track kept appearing on my Spotify 'sleep hypnosis' and i was deeply sceptical but I was like well fuck, nothing to lose i guess. And I played it one night at bed time. I slept for a solid seven hours. And I played it every night for months. Until it stopped working and became more distracting then helpful. At the very least it was supposed to be pumping positive affirmations into my brain while I slept. One time I woke up to a woman's voice chanting'I am a sexual being' in an Irish accent over and over and I was like damn I thought the affirmations would be more like 'I am confident'
Anyway during that time I found these cheap headband headphones you can sleep with on - I didn't make the investment but I thought about you and your need for noise and figured you might be interested-
https://a.co/d/0xFMYYG
How's your toe
- I didn't want to dismantle the bodies. I had to, to protect the people I love. They weren't capable of doing the needful so I stepped up. I've had a million dreams like this before except usually the murderer was four and he would whine to me that it was an accident while I disposed of the bodies for him. So once you know this bit of how those dreams normally goes it's not hard to understand. It's about what I'm willing to sacrifice, the things I will do, the burdens I will carry for the people I love. I remember thinking it out too. Like how burning would be preferable but due to the sheer amount of bodies would create too much smoke and would be hard to transport to a secluded area. And how if I gave the organs to hungry dogs to eat - maybe mince them and donate it to a shelter - it would be very effective and difficult to trace.
