There's a veil of numb that conceals the sad beneath. But from time to time, it bleeds through anyway.
I remember this one night where V, in a moment of uncharacteristic kindness, was trying to chat to me in the kitchen, regaling me with a funny story about her fellow medical students. Four had just been screaming at me and I was holding back all my tears and rage. So I was non-committal with my replies to discourage further conversation. I didn't have it in me to speak at that moment. What I didn't know was that she was saying goodbye.
What I didn't know was that would be the last conversation we would ever have.
In this life anyway.
