Chapter 9

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Lunch.

Lunch was finally here and I was scared as hell for this. I wasn't sure if I wanted lunch. My insides were in a complete knot. It felt like right before a rollercoaster, about to drop low and you're nerves are high as ever. Higher than the rollercoaster itself. I'm nervous. Too nervous to even eat my hot cheetos and drink my usual Arizona green tea.

I walk pass my usual seat, ignoring Starr and the friends I once cared for. I feel stares yet again, Starr's voice calling my name, this time steps following. Please don't! Don't let it be...

"Starr!". I knew maybe I shouldn't had turned around, but I knew it was her. Who else? My prince charming? NOT!

"Hey babe, did you forget where we sit?" her face confused yet amused.

"Oh no, I don't know what to do. I feel I need space...FAAAARRRRR..space. Starr, I had already talked to you. I think I need to have space, don't you think?".

Her look is sad, confused but amused?, not at all. "What are you saying?...You know what?, don't. If that's what you want, ok."

"Thanks, I'm sorry but I hope you can understand. I just-uh...space." That's all I can think of to say. I just hope she can understand and let me have what I need, which is space. I thought I had told her I couldn't do this. I didn't want this. She is not who I want in my life. I need to move on, SHE needs to move on.

I walk away from her, giving her a small smile, not looking back. I keep walking towards the end of the hall where my old friends are. Where I once sat my butt for the whole lunch period just talking about nonsense and eating like there was no tomorrow. You know, the usual me.

As I make my way towards what seems like forever, I finally make it. I see Karen and I wave. "Hey You!" I say, not realizing everyone else who's said hello as well. "How you been? I hope I'm no bother by sitting with you guys".

Karen looks at my with a huge smile, hovering over all of her face. "Oh no! Love! You are my hunny, and sweets are always welcomed here".

"Aww, thanks Karen, You guys are the best". I take my backpack off my back and lay it on the floor. I sit next to Karen and the rest of the girls as they send me kisses and pull me down to take a sit. "Alright, alright. I'm sitting down!" a small chuckle they get out of me as I sit my butt down. Karen finds a way to hold me, as if I'm a teddy bear and she is never letting go. "Ouch! Dude, you gotta cut down on the Muscle Milk, you're pretty strong there."

"I just missed you. I was really happy you ate with us the other day, but I figured that would've been the last time. No offence, but you've been out of the whole social world since...you know...anyways!" she jumps up a bit, cupping my hand and patting it a bit, "I'm just extremely happy you're here and I get to be with my best friend once again!".

Wow. I hadn't noticed how much of a lame-ass I was as a friend. My relationship with Starr had taken away more than what I had noticed. Karen was acting like an over excited year old, it was adorable and made me feel like I was once a great friend. Once upon a time..

As I look up. My mind goes to a different universe. There he is. Sitting with his group of friends.

Right before my eyes. The boy I dream of.

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