Aris Jones X Reader One Shots

What You Deserve (Part 2)

Aris's P.O.V

I don't know what I can do to fix everything I've done. I'm in no way saying she didn't deserve the truth, but I am saying I didn't think she would tell me she didn't care if I died. I don't think I've ever known a type of pain like this, and it's not going away.

I just wanted her to know, but I didn't want this. I had just lost her all over again. Wasn't before the maze enough? Wasn't her telling me if she remembered me she'd kill me a sign that maybe what I said wouldn't actually convince her of anything? I had heard those type of words from her before. I had thought about them almost every night.

She had once said she hated me, and that I disgusted her before she got taken away. Those final words were 'I wouldn't care if' before she went unconscious. Now I know what they would have been.

The worst part is no matter what she says or does I will always love her. She could kill me, and my last thought would be at least I'm near her.

Because I watched her almost die so many times in that maze, and you can only get away with adjusting the Greiver's for so long until someone notices.

If only I knew how to say it. I don't know how to tell her she's still my everything. Even worse is she won't just say a single word to me, or even look in my direction. She hasn't even told another soul what I've done, and she won't just tell me I'm the most evil person she knows.

Her deciding I wasn't even worth insulting, thinking I was that disgusting, that's what kills me. So if she won't listen maybe she'll see it another way. I've never actually written a letter before, but I need to try.

Dear Y/N,
I don't know how to start this, but I have to try. I know you hate me, and I don't blame you for that. In a way I expected this to be the result, but I wanted you to know. The first time you found out it wasn't from me, and every night I thought about the way you shouted that I was the worst person you ever came in contact with. You said I was worse than any other WICKED worker because I had manipulated and lied about loving you.

Y/N, I did lie to you but never about loving you. I always wanted nobody and nothing else but you. Every night I laid awake missing you. I took every shift I could just so I could be able to see you in some way. Even when you cried I couldn't bear the thought of just leaving you. In a way I had convinced myself that meant you were by me.

I would do anything if it meant changing this because of you. You made my rethink everything. That's why I went in the maze in the first place. I'd get to be near you, but I didn't think it would all turn out like this.

Tell me how to fix this, and I'll do it without a second thought. If it means begging, telling everyone, anything at all, I'll do it. You may not remember all the we've had, but I do. They're the only memories I want to keep.

You're my everything. Even if I'm your nothing you'll forever be my world.

So please. Please let me show you I've changed. I love you Y/N.

Love,
Aris

I took a deep breath as I stared at the letter one last time. I then looked at her sleeping figure. Before I could lose the courage I folded it and placed it beside her.

After a moment she stirred, and I saw how puffy her face was. I waited for another second. For what? I don't know.

She didn't wake up as she curled into a ball. Something about seeing her that way, so broken while asleep, was a haunting sight.