Aris Jones X Reader One Shots

Never Over It

I try. I try not to keep my guard up around him. I try to forget everything. I try to just be happy. I try to live my life.

I love him. I do. He means so much, and I could never imagine being with anyone else. I don't want to be.

At the same time, I haven't forgotten it. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to, I can't let it go. I can't just move past it. Every time I think I do, during our next argument it comes up again. I don't want to remind him of it, but I just start speaking, and the words spill out until I can't take them back.

I had been better at it. I hadn't done it in a long time.

But history always repeats itself, even the bad parts.

“It’s not a big deal. I just ended up hanging out with Sonya,”He groaned.

“Yeah. After telling me you would be with Thomas,”I snapped.

“I already told you. I didn't plan it. That's just what ended up happening,”He defended.

“Is it now? Is it really?”

“Yes. It really is. I don't know why it even matters that I was hanging out with Sonya. You know-”
“For the last time, it doesn't matter that you were Sonya. I like Sonya. I trust her. It's the fact that you lied-”
“I didn't lie. For the last time, I did not plan this,”He said slowly.

“You told me this less than two hours before the plans apparently changed. What about that isn't suspicious?”

“I have not given you any reason not to trust me. Why the hell do you keep acting like I’m doing something awful every time something is slightly off? Why do you keep doing this? Every. Single. Time.”

“Because you’ve never lied before, right?”I snapped.

Almost immediately, his expression dropped as he frowned. His eyes seemed to lose all light as he faced me.

I regretted the words the second I said them. I wanted to take them back.

I couldn't though.

So I just stood there in silence with him.

“You're . . . never going to be over that . . . , are you?”

“I’m sorry,”I apologized, meeting his gaze before looking down again. “I thought that I could be. I try to be. I want to be, but every time something happens, every single time something is off, I’m back in the cave. I’m on the ground, and you're not. You're both there, above me, taunting me. There was just . . . nothing there. Nothing in your eyes,”I admitted, wiping away my tears. “I’m sorry. I tried to be over it, Aris. I tried not to see you as them, because I really do love you. I really do want us to work,”I whispered.

“But we won't, will we?”

Not knowing how to speak, I just buried my face in my hands as silent sobs left me. Stepping forward, he pulled me into him as I clung to him and cried on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,”He whispered, his own voice cracking.

“It's not even your fault, and that's the worst part. It’s not even your fault, and I know that, so it shouldn't hurt like this anymore. It should be over with,”I got out, wrapping my arms around him a little tighter.

“It was supposed to hurt. I just didn't know how to make it not so bad. I didn't know how to warn you.”

“I love you. I promise I love you. I really, really do.”

“I know. I know, and I love you too,”He said back. “I just wish that was enough.”

“I’m sorry I couldn't get over it.”

“It's not your fault. You tried. You did everything you could.”

“I’m sorry,”I repeated anyway, running out of things to say.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I had to be someone who could do that to you,”He whispered, his devastatingly comforting grip not loosening once during this breakup.

“That's even worse. Because it isn't your fault, and it isn't my fault, so why don't we get to work?”

“The memories I guess. No matter why it happened, it happened, and you can't change the past. No matter how hard you try, you can't erase it. No matter what, neither of us will forget that day.”

“I try to. I try to, but I still dream about it sometimes. I still see the way you glared at me the entire time. I can still hear the way you told me that I never actually meant anything. I can still feel the way you grabbed me when I tried to run. There was so much pain in my life, but that one just sticks out the most because it's from you, you know? It's from you, and I love you. I love you so I don't know why it hurts.”

“I think because you love me. When betrayal comes from someone that means something, I don't want to know how that feels. I never wanted you to know what that feels like either, but I did. I try not to think about it sometimes, but there's always something to remind me of it. I’ll always remember the way you cried when you curled up on the ground. I’ll always remember the way you screamed when I hurt you. I'll always remember the way you went silent for so long after. So much more silent than you should be, and I thought that I lost you. I thought that they made us kill you, and I couldn't even find out for hours. I just had to sit there and wait. I had to think about everything that happened in so little time.”

“What do we do now?”I muttered.

“You know the answer, Y/N,”He said softly, rubbing comforting circles on my shoulders. Knowing what he meant but not wanting to speak, I just held still and took in his touch, with the only sound being the heavy breathing you get when you cry so hard your eyes aren't even worth opening.

“Can we have just one last night together?”He asked.

“Yeah. Just one last night of everything feeling okay,”I agreed.

Pulling away, acting as if this was any other time, he kissed my temple before wiping my tears. Despite the way I knew this was going to be the most painful and loving few hours I’ll ever experience, all I could think of was a question that you ask anyone after reuniting at home again.

“So how was your day?”