Behind the screen / H.HJ Centric (HIATUS)

Stray kids hyunjin imnida

At the end I picked out my grey nike hoodie , underneath a white tee and black baggy jeans . Its a normal outfit that I normally would wear everyday . It just can't go wrong .... 

I sat down on the bed after packing my black side bag , putting inside my headphones , tissues , headache pills , handcreme , perfume , my cigs and a lighter . I pulled out my phone , scrolling thru tiktok and twitter before I got a new message . 

"I'm outside:)" I smiled slightly , standing up and slowly walking down the stairs. I put on my Air Force , swung around my bag and slowly unlocked the door . I walked outside , breeze hitting my whole body, sending me shivers before turning around and locking it again . I rubbed my forehead , trying to ease the pain before walking down the hill . 

I looked around , searching for a black big car until I finally spotted it . I started walking towards it faster until I reached the door . I looked inside the car but no one was in there . 

,,Are you looking for me ?" I jumped , turning around as I heard the dark voice behind me . I took a deep breath , relieved it was just inyeop . ,,Oh god you scared me..." I rubbed my chest , trying to calm down my racing heart . I don't know what went thru my head the second the sudden voice appeared behind me , all I know is that I thought about the moment in the studio ... the moment .... this man grabbed me ... the way he walked up to me and the way he-

,,Hyunjin?" I looked up , not noticing I was lost in my thought . ,,U-Uhm yes ? sorry I thought about something ." He warmly smiled at me . ,,Its okay .. let's go." I nodded , turning around and opening the heavy black car door . I sat down on the leather seat and buckled the seatbelt . The bag was caged in between my feet . 

I noticed the car slowly driving away from the driveway . I looked outside the window , admiring the trees and lonely streets . 

,,What are you thinking about ?" My head lifted from my hand as I looked at the boy beside me . ,,Hm?" I blinked a few times . ,,You look like you have a lot on your mind ... tell me about it. If you are not comfy with it , it's okay but trust me , telling someone what's on your mind is the biggest relieve ." I bit the inside of my cheeks and gulped slowly . 

,,Im just thinking about how lonely these streets look . They look grayish and no one is there ." I answered honestly , looking outside again . 

,,Is this how you feel ? Like you lost yourself and you feel so lonely even tho there are so many people in your life ?" I bit my lips , finger making its way thru my hair . For a second I felt his eyes piercing thru me . I thought about what is should answer ...

'Yes , that's how I feel 24/7 and I dont know what to do against it.'

or

'no , actually not . I still feel like myself and I appreciate the people in my life , not feeling lonely .'

or 

'maybe ? I dont know I can't really say that . On one hand yes but on the other no.'

True is the first one but I dont want him to be involved with my problems or just to be with me out of pity . 

,,Maybe ? I dont know I can't really tell you because I dont know either . On one hand yes I do , but on the other one no ." 

,,I understand... well I can see you dont like talking about your true feelings , which is completely okay .. but I want you to know that you can always talk to me no matter what and I will always be there for you . I won't judge you because of your feelings or something like that , no .... I will find a solution with you so you dont feel like this anymore . And if we dont find a solution , we will make one . If this also isn't a problem , Im gonna stay by your side until you yourself forget this one problem ."