Behind the screen / H.HJ Centric (HIATUS)

amygdala

I walked into the small but petite room once again , letting myself fall onto the bed . I know going downstairs where everyone else is right now won't be the best decision .. they are mad at me and I don't want to fight with someone ... I'm to tired for this . 

I took a deep breath , opening my eyes and sitting up straight . "ah-" I sharp pain ran thru my lower back , shocking me for a second . I rubbed the place where it hurts , face into a frown and lips parted . 

This day cant get worse ... first I see this mans face once again , everyone is mad at me , everything hurts and I'm so unmotivated ...

The pain lets me rethink the decision of going downstairs and grab some painkillers .. I know they would never hurt me or anything but I know damn well that they are only human and can say the worst shit ever , which im not ready for . I cant take another problem or harsh word .. if I take one more I dont think it will end well . 

I noticed I get aggressive easily lately , it's like im full of rage and every hate I got in the past years came together and wants to get out so bad . But I know I cant just let it out on innocent people , so I let it out on myself . I curse at myself , hit myself maybe even punch myself , starve myself and even worse things . 

*sigh* I stood up after a deep breath and opened the bedroom door . I walked down the cracky wood stairs , holding onto the wall . 

The pain got worse , now giving me headache too . I walked towards the entrance , knowing I left my bag with the painkiller there . I rubbed my forehead and slowly bend down , opening the bag and searching for the pills . 

,,Wow Jinja ? Are you really just gonna leave after what happened ? are you running away from your problems once again?" The harsh words made me look up , meeting a mad Seungmin . I looked around , searching for another person who seungmin is maybe speaking too , but it was only me . 

,,Are you talking to me ?" I pointed at myself as I lifted my eyebrows ,standing up straight . He looked his arms in front of his chest and laughed in disbelieve . 

,,Yes you hyunjin , do you see someone else here ?" I frowned . ,,What do you mean dude ? I was just-"

"Just what ? Running away from your problems again , as I said . Maybe you would have the courage to apologize and come up to us but no , as always . You're not able to apologize and just act like nothing happened ." He came closer , maybe a bit to close for my liking . I moved away , madness filling my body . 

My chest rises and sinks heavily as I balled together my fist . 

,,What is your problem ! I was just searching for my pills dude and not getting ready to leave ! Cant I do something right once ! ONCE!" I spoke louder , nearly screaming at this point . His eyes widen just to look even angrier after . 

I felt tears filling my eyes once again as I looked into the others eyes. ,,Oh yeah ? Well you could have said that in a normal voice dont you think so hyunjin ? But no , the wonderful , handsome , tall prince thinks he can talk however he wants ." I just stood there in disbelieve , standing between running away once again or talking back . I know both are shit options but just to apologize now and go away lets seungmin think this doesn't mean anything to me . 

,,You know what seungmin ? Forget it ." I put on a weak smile , tears building in my eyes before walking away and patting his shoulder a last time . The words were harsh .. so damn hurtful . 

I was about to walk upstairs as a hand wrapped around my wrist . I frowned , oh please I cant take no more . I turned around ...

Chan ...

,,What the fuck happened ?" He's angry .. you can definitely hear the angriness in his voice . Seungmin stood in between the doorframe , looking .... sad?