Behind the screen / H.HJ Centric (HIATUS)

scared that..

3rd POV:

2 hours have passed and no one has moved from the living room , still sitting on the exact same spot as earlier - cuddled together and Disney movie running on the TV for comfort ,expect for that no one was watching . 

Inyeop did not look away from Hyunjin one time , bangchan starring into blank space and the others trying to get into a small talk . 

The eldest bit his bottom lip , the hot tears building up and threatening to fall - but no , In yep can't cry . He can't show his weakness even tho it was killing him . And crying and making stress will make Hyunjin have an uncomfy sleep .

He leaned back against the couch and brushed his fingers thru Hyunjins blonde hair . He looked so pretty even at his lowest . Softly smiling to himself , In yeop took a deep breath and thought about how Hyunjin did not deserve any of this . 

He is such a nice , caring , loving , etc.. Person and yet he's slowly dying because of the things around him . 

And the worst part which made everyone worry is that - World tour will start tomorrow . 

Hyunjin is not in the condition to perform for hours and everyone knew that , but if Hyunjin really wanted it , nobody could hold him back from performing . Bangchan would call the manager and tell that Hyunjins dear mother had passed away while everyone else keep of practicing . 

Lost in his thoughts , In yeop saw from the corner of his eyes that his boyfriends eyes slowly fluttered open with a groan . 

With big eyes he sat up straight , placing the palm of his hands on Hyunjins pale cheek . 

,,Baby..." it was scary how soft his voice was . 

Looking around , Hyunjin had a confused look on his face - why am I here? What had happened.....

And with that one question the memories started to bloom in his head . 

Eomma ....

A chocked sound came from the younger ones mouth , eyebrows knitting and eyes filing with hot tears. 

,,It's okay..." The elder pulled him into a hug , letting Hyunjin sob into his chest which got everyones attention . Quickly the members gathered around the crying boy , tears streaming down their faces . 

,,Guys , give him some space." Bangchan said softly , drawing random shapes on Hyunjins clothed back with one hand - the other hand he used to back the others away . 

He understood the worries from the others , but he was sure that the boy did not want the eyes on him . 

,,I am horrible..." Hyunjin chocked out , fisting In yeops shirt . 

,,No you are not baby , you are the greatest person on this planet . You don't deserve this , you should live the best life because no one deserves you . Your eomma will now look down on you from above and will protect you , I promise . She is now feeling better , believe me because god always has a reason to release a person ." Kissing the top of his head , In yeop felt the boys body relaxing under his touch . 

Hyunjin sat up and the expression on his face scared everyone in the room because there was not a single emotion seen - just a few tears running down his carved in cheeks . 

Without saying anything else , the boy stood up and walked out the room and made his way towards his bedroom . 

Carefully Bangchan , In yeop and Changbin followed him with a questionable look - Opening the unlocked door just to find a emotionless Hyunjin packing his things lazily . 

'What is he doing?' the question ran free in everyones mind at this point . 

Hyunjin grabbed the bag and pushed himself thru the others , running down the stairs and grabbing his car key . 

He was about to open the door as someone held him by his wrist . He turned around , staring blankly at Bangchans face which was filled with worry , sadness but most of all curiousness . 

,,Hyunjin where are you going ?" Not breaking the eye contact , Hyunjin responses monoton . 

"I'm going to admit myself to the psychiatric ward" Everyone stood still , faces fell and turned blank at the answer . Why would he do that ? And the scariest thing was , that he did not hesitate to answer - as if he was a robot . 

,,W-What ? Why would you do that Hyunjin?" Jisung asked , tears slipping down his face and anxiety clearly shown . 

Hyunjin bit his lip and knitted his eyebrows as he remembered the unbelievable hard year he went thru. 

,,Because if I stay alone one second I am scared that I am going to use that one single second to kill myself Jisung." His voice broke at the end and Hyunjin knew he really said that . Never has he exposed himself that clearly before and it scared himself . It feels like he is out of control of his own body and mindset because everyone knew that the real Hyunjin would never be this straight forward.

,,And now please let me leave because I do not want anyone to find my body dead ever." With that he turned around but did not get far because two muscular arms wrapped around his body from behind . 

Something went off inside Hyunjins body as his eyes grew bigger and tears spilled out of them . 

,,It won't happen , I am will make sure of that . Hyunjin , you have lovely 8 members and me who will help you until we are gray and old . Do you really think psych ward would help you better than people that love and appreciate you ? So please , don't go." The hot breath against the skin of his neck gave him goosebumps . 

He slowly lets himself go down on the floor , something inside his head realizing what he is doing right now . 

What happened to me ? What happened to the cheerful , happy hyunjin ? How did he start starving himself , self harming himself , when did he start having those suicidal thoughts and when did he ........ broke?

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I know this is a short chap , I am sorry <3