Lets Not And Say We Did

Thirty Four

"What?" Patrick's voice was hard as he greeted Andy on the other end of the phone.

"We need to talk."

"Is that not what we're doing?"

"No. I mean we need to talk normally without jumping down each other's throats. It's important."

Patrick sighed into the phone. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Pete watching him from the sand. He mouthed the words I'm sorry before he walked into the house for privacy.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Pete's words. I think I'm gay for you. Those might have been the most confusing and most wonderful words Patrick ever heard.

Now he just needed to close off this chapter with Andy. Then he and Pete could explore the whole gay for you thing. The thought of Andy made him glare at the phone.

"I'm listening."

"I miss you."

Patrick almost laughed. Almost.

"That's it?"

"Yes. I need to see you."

"Why?"

"To show you how much I missed you."

"I'm not having sex with you."

"I didn't say that. I could have meant dinner. Your mind went to sex."

Patrick was annoyed. So annoyed that he couldn't stay standing in the same place. He began walking around the room. Damn, Andy was a dick.

"Andy, I'm not in the mood for your mind games."

"I'm not playing games. I really miss you."

"Right."

"I just haven't been the same since I left."

"That's not my problem anymore, Andy." Patrick ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I don't like the fact that ten years of love is now ruined."

"You did it. You ruined it when you cheated on me with Joe."

"I didn't technically cheat-"

"Oh yes you did cheat!"

"We didn't do anything until after you and I broke up. We're not as advanced in our relationship as you may think."

"That's bullshit. You're engaged to him. It's much more serious than that."

"That's an extremely long story. One that I will tell you after you agree to meet up with me. Please, Patrick. Its the least you can do after you practically flaunted your new boyfriend in my face. Seems pretty hypocritical of you to be upset about me and Joe when you seem pretty serious about Paul."

Patrick ignored him getting Pete's name wrong. But only because he was ninety nine percent sure that Andy actually knew his name.

"But I'm not engaged to Pete, am I?" Patrick put emphasis on Pete's name. "You broke up with Me. Of course I was going to try and move on."

"And you made sure to rub it in my face with interviews and magazines."

"He's a famous billionaire. Of course we're going to be photographed."

"Seeing you smile and laugh with him only reminded me of the times you would smile and laugh with me." Andy's voice cracked. Patrick stopped moving around. "You weren't just my boyfriend friend for ten years, you were also my best friend. I was your first love."

"I know that, Andy."

"And I love you still. You can't tell me you feel nothing at all for me."

Patrick sighed. He'd never felt so conflicted. He ran his hand through his hair again. Tugging at it slightly this time when he did.

"And I love you too. I'll probably always love you."

"Patrick, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you-"

"Like a friend."

"What?!"

"I've been your friend for a decade, Andy. And a friendship that strong doesn't go away. But I've never really been your boyfriend. There was always someone else or something else-"

"No. I-"

"Yes. I'm glad you broke up with me. Otherwise I wouldn't know what it felt like to be someone's one and only."

"Patrick, listen to me."

"I love you, Andy. But I am not in love with you. Not anymore. I have Pete. I'm happy with Pete."

"You're making a huge mistake."

"I already made one. And it lasted ten years."

"He's just going to leave you when he gets bored with you." Andy was upset now. Patrick could hear it in his voice.

"Then I'll be sure to not be boring."

Before Andy could reply with a snappy comeback, Patrick hung up the phone. He was so upset that he was shaking. Why was he shaking?

He stormed out of the house. Tossing his phone in the beach chair. His eyes searched the beach for Pete. He wasn't in the sand where he left him. He heard water splashing and looked up. Pete was swimming. Patrick started towards him.

"Pat?" Someone touched him arm. He looked up at Ryan. "Have you been crying?"

"No." But he might start.

"Are you okay?" Brendon stood now. Finally thinking of something other than the sand.

"I'm fine. I-I need to talk to Pete."

He turned to walk away from them. Ryan rushed to catch up.

"You might not want to cry in front of Pete. He hates it. It might make him shut you out."

If only he knew how much Patrick already cried in front of him. "I think it'll be okay."

He ran now. Not wanting to talk to anyone else but Pete. Patrick trudged through the water. Bumping into Pete as he did. Pete stood and took in Patrick's face.

"Whoa, Patrick. Dude are you oka-"

Dude? Patrick shook his head. It was nothing. Pete was probably just shocked. Patrick wrapped his arms around Pete's waist. Resting his head on his shoulder. He just needed Pete to hold him right now. He was so upset. So confused.

Pete hesitated before he finally put his arms around Patrick's too. But he didn't quite hug back. It was more like his arms were just resting over Patrick's. Patrick didn't think too much into it. He was sure it was nothing.