Blue

Chapter 15

A loud thud sounded around the room as Elaine woke with a start. She looked around in the dark room, her hands groping about, her eyes trying to see. In a panicked instant, she realized she was not in her room and sat up, alert. Her eyes focused on the short dark fabric that covered her and the memories of the last night came flooding back. She looked around trying to find the source of the commotion. 

There lay a mass on the floor next to the couch, groaning. Neill, who had just fallen out of the couch, got up and started using the fanciest of curse words from his dictionary at the couch. 

Elaine was trying her best not to laugh. She wanted to attract minimum attention from Neill and hence, sat on the bed silently. 

"You little bitch!" Neill said getting up. 

"How. Dare. You." Neill addressed the sofa, a kick following each word he spoke. 

Elaine was taken aback. She couldn't clearly see Neill, but was afraid that he would end up breaking the sofa. 

"Who do you think you are, pushing me off like that?" Neill said, as the wooden leg came off and was kicked across the room."I was dreaming!" Neill yelled at the now lopsided couch. 

"Neill," Elaine said softly. She was not sure whether Neill heard her or not, but he didn't reply. He just continued to abuse the poor couch. This madness had to end. 

Elaine slipped off the bed and felt her way over to Neill through the darkness. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her hands resting in his stomach. 

"Neill," she spoke again, nearer to his ear, "Stop. Go sleep on the bed." 

She immediately felt his body relax under her touch as he felt calm taking over his senses. 

He hadn't realised Elaine had witnessed this and felt absurd for presenting such a monstrous show in front of her. He turned around and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her hair, breathing deeply. He looked at the clock and discovered it was around 5 am. 

"It's alright," he said. "You go and sleep, I'll just have breakfast and leave. I have places to go." 

"No," Elaine shook her head furiously, "you have to sleep, it's not even sunrise yet." She held his large hand in her smaller one, a feeling of comfort enveloping her and walked over to the bed. She climbed and lay to the extreme left and motioned for him to take the right side. 

Neill smirked. "Try not to jump my bones."

--

Elaine inhaled deeply as she opened her eyes. Her nose was nuzzled against Neill's neck and her face rested on his shoulder. Her entire body was rested on Neill's while his arms around her waist kept her in place. She raised her head and looked at his perfect face up close. His flawless skin was slightly pink near the cheeks as if there was always a constant blush. His lips were formed in a straight line. He looked immensely innocent and calm. His eyes were shut and the prospect that these eyes were once dark and fuming with anger felt strange. 

Elaine did not know how long she rested on Neill's body and observed him. Her stomach was flat against his and all her weight was upon him, but he didn't seem to be disturbed by that and remained deep in sleep. 

Elaine gently lifted Neill's hands off her back and slipped onto the bed beside him. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked over towards the chair where her diary lay, abandoned. She picked it up and rummaged through one of the bedside drawers for a pen after which she walked outside into the balcony. 

The air was fresh and it was early morning. She inhaled the morning air deeply and sat on one of the balcony chairs. Opening her diary, she began to write. 

'Ian, 

I think I'm moving on. But I'm not replacing you. I don't think you will get it. Even I don't get it. But I want to tell you about Neill. I think I like him. He is very handsome and pretty and caring and cocky. I don't know how all these things fit in the same equation, but Neill somehow makes it possible. No, we are not friends. I don't know a lot about him except factual details. I don't know about his family. I am not sure if he has a sister. But I just can't stop thinking about him. 

A weird thing happened yesterday. I kind of fell on him and then he started kissing me and it was amazing and I stopped him under the pretence that he was hurting me. I wasn't completely lying, my burns were aching. But his lips were making me feel special and the way his eyes look at me, I die a little inside, out of pleasure, I guess. It was my first kiss. I always dreamt and wanted my first kiss to be from you, but somehow, last night, I didn't mind it was him.

But then I know he has been with so many girls and I think I'll fall for him really hard and then he will just vanish and I don't think I'll be able to live through that. He has started mattering a lot to me, and I'm not very happy about it. Especially after what that blonde did in the woods. She said he was a player. Ian, I don't want to love Neill. Especially because I don't know what love is.  

What I felt for you kind of seems unreal compared to what I feel for Neill. But I think that's because of time. It's been a long long time since I saw you and Neill somehow is always around. He's always there. He smells of the best things on earth. His eyes are like oceans of chocolate. His hair is perfect, so are his lips. With him, I don't want time to pass. But time always passes.

I hate time. I read this book yesterday, "The fault is in our stars". And in it I read this line. 

"Time is such a slut, she screws everyone." 

-Me'