A Soldier's Oath (Completed)

CHAPTER 8

Tessa

Tate left after he settled me in my house. He didn't say a word after his outburst. He still thinks that it might scare me.

But to be honest, it scared the shit out of me and it helps that he didn't talk, I don't want confrontations as of the moment. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I don't even want to hear another breath from another human being.

Part of me wanted to explain to him that I wasn't trying to drown myself. I don't want to end my life even though it's giving me a hard time.

Maybe, I don't like how my life turns out right now but it doesn't mean that I don't love my life. Especially now that Deacon is right with me, he gave me hope to live my life for him and for myself.

Evening came and I intentionally made dinner for two. I was planning to invite him, to thank him, and explain what happened earlier.

Also, I wanted to know him more aside from being a Montezano snob.

Maybe my other intention was I don't want him to think the worst of me. He was still Jake's brother and he's important to him.

Therefore he's important for me too.

The sky was already dark in my eyes as I was heading to his yacht but I stopped in my tracks, questioning my life choices.

Why do I need to explain myself to him? And why am I exerting an effort just to give him a peace of mind? Since when did I do that?

Because you want to know him? My mind fired back.

I was meters away from the dock already when I twisted my body in the opposite direction, disregarding my plans for this evening.

"Tessa?" He called. I craned my neck at the upper deck. There I saw him dangerously leaning on the railing. Smoke hovers around him as he blows some from a cigarette. He was topless and I can trace the curves of his muscles.

Anxious. I was fidgeting and my feet were tapping on the hard wood beneath me, contemplating whether I should invite him over or not. But I have no other choice but to stick with my plan.

Nakita na niya ako eh. I have no other choice.

"Ahm, can I invite you over? I actually prepared dinner for two accidentally." I joked trying to keep the air cool between us despite the heat present in my body.

I expected him to turn my offer down but it didn't happen. Instead he just replied "Sure" and then walked with me to the house.

His hair was wet, I could smell his body wash a meter away from me. We were walking the same direction I walked earlier. The ocean is calm and dangerous in the dark, the wind gives me chills that penetrate through the thick dress I'm wearing and its scent infiltrates my nostrils. I felt like my head was floating in the cold breeze.

When we got inside, he told me to sit down and prepare the dishes and plates we're gonna use. He placed all the condiments properly and neatly, no unnecessary noises and the silence is choking me.

"Tate" I tried to break the silence for me to breathe.

"Yes?" He stopped his tracks and looked at me.

His body was facing me and all his attention was on me. I can't help it but to blush. I'm not used to this kind of attention, I'm used to being ignored ever since I was a child, from my parents, to my siblings and other people.

I quickly shy away the thoughts and try to go on the script I keep replaying in my head.

"Ahm It's not what you think" I cleared the lump in my throat. "I'm not trying to drown myself, it's a meditation to clear my head" he shifted his weight, still the plates on his hands. "I'm sorry, I made you think that way. It's just everything is overwhelming and I need to---" I apologized, lowered my head and wandered my eyes on the plate.