Crazy In Love | Buggy

t w e n t y - s e v e n

When I woke up, it was completely dark. I must have slept throughout the entire day. I lay there, looking at the window in the room, at the dark sky. I was still exhausted despite all the sleep.

I turned around, finding that Buggy was in bed with me. He had kept his distance. He was fast asleep on his side of the bed, facing me. Even in the darkness, I could see how beautiful he was.

His face was painted with fresh clown make-up. It made me smile, the idea of him doing new make-up just to go to sleep in. It also made me sad that he didn't want to show his bare face, even to me, even just as we slept.

Part of me wanted to reach out and touch him, but I didn't want to wake him. As if he had heard my thoughts, he woke in that moment.

His moss green eyes fluttered open slowly. He had the biggest eyelashes I'd ever seen on a man. His eyes settled on me, softening when he saw me watch me.

"How long have you been staring at me?" He mumbled out quietly.

I blushed from embarrassment. "Only two seconds," I lied.

"Only two seconds? I'm disappointed. I'd hoped it would be longer."

"You're not creeped out by me watching you?"

He shrugged. "It's flattering. Sometimes, I watch you sleep, too. You're cute in your sleep."

My heart hurt hearing that. "I can't imagine you doing that."

"Why? Because you still think I'm this bad guy? You don't think I'm capable of being soft?"

"If I'm honest... I don't picture you as a soft person." He broke our eye contact, and I felt bad. "I'll have to start picturing you that way."

He laughed softly. "Good. Do you know you talk in your sleep?"

"Really? What do I say?"

"Nonsense, mostly," He told me, scooting closer to me, until our heads were only about an inch away from each other. "Sometimes you say my name."

"I do not!" I whisper yelled, smacking his arm. "You're a bad liar."

"I'm not lying," He told me. To my horror, it sounded genuine. I began to wonder what context I had been saying his name in my sleep. "I like hearing you say my name."

I could feel all the colour rushing to my face from embarrassment. A big part of me liked this, though. The idea he liked hearing me say his name... it was a cute thought.

Buggy continued. "Sometimes you shorten in to Bug, too."

"Do I? Well, you deserve a nickname. You're constantly calling me Bets, or Betty-Boop, or -"

The words hitch in my throat when I felt Buggy's hand stroking my hair suddenly. It was so soft, so gentle. I wished he would just be like this all of the time.

Bozo's speech began to reply in my head. I worried that if Buggy treated me like this in front of his crew, they'd see him as even weaker than they currently did. It seemed like his affection towards me, to them, was a sign he was changing.

"There's something I need to talk to you about," I told him, as softly as I could. I dreaded how to tell him. "But you need to promise me you'll stay calm."

His eyebrows furrowed together in pure confusion. The look on his face was panic. It made me feel guilty.

"Tell me."

"Promise -"

"Tell me, Betty. That's an order."

I sucked in a breath. "I like this soft side to you. I really like it. But I don't think your crew does."

"I don't understand."

"Some of them have voiced their concerns when it comes to us." I didn't want to specify it was just Bozo, because I feared Buggy would kill him. "I don't think they like your softer side."

"Who's said all this?" Buggy asked, his voice laced with anger.

He went to sit up, probably to leave but I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down. He almost landed on top of me, managing to catch himself with his arms.

His face, which was now directly facing mine, was full of so many emotions.

"If you go out there all angry, that'll just make everything worse."

"I don't care. It's a crime to talk negatively about your captain. I'll kill each and every person who has -"

"And you'll just make everyone else hate you. You can't kill everyone in your crew- "

"I can."

I sighed. "Alright, you can, but you shouldn't."

He was silent for a while, clearly thinking over what I had told him. I knew it was a lot to take in, and his automatic response was anger, but I prayed that he would listen to what I'd said.

"Then what should I do?"

My heart leapt in my chest. He was listening to me.

"Don't show me kindness in front of them. In fact, be as mean and cruel to me as you would be to anybody else."

"You want me to stop being nice to you?"

"Only around your crew," I assured him. "In private, you can be your soft, kind self. Because, believe me, I love that side to you. I just think it's making you look weak to your crew."

"I never thought you'd encourage the bad side of me," Buggy said, smiling slightly. "But maybe you're right. Pirates don't respect kindness, they respect cruelty and strength. Are you sure you can handle me being horrible to you in front of them?"

I wasn't even sure if I could. Mentally, I was exhausted. But if it kept Buggy safer, lessened the chances of a coup, then I'd learn to deal with it.

"I can. I'll know it's just an act."

"As long as you're sure. I feel bad being mean to you after today," He told me, gesturing along my shirt where the scar my new scar was. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling a lot better," I lied. In reality, I felt like death. "I feel better now that you're back."

He gave me a devilish grin at that. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath. I wanted so desperately to touch him. Everything in me screamed to keep my distance.

"Really?" He asked in a whisper, seeming genuinely curious. "Do you miss me when I leave?"

"Of course I do," I said without meaning to. It was the truth, I just felt bad admitting it. He was the enemy. I wasn't supposed to feel anything for him except hatred. "Do you miss me when I'm not around?"

"I miss you constantly. I even miss you when you're asleep."

My heart did about a thousand somersaults in my chest when he said that. I wanted to kiss him so badly. His lips were so close to mine that closing the gap between them wouldn't be difficult. I couldn't allow myself to do that. This couldn't happen.

"Can we cuddle?"

I decided that I'd allow myself to cuddle with him. That, at least, wasn't as bad as kissing. Plus, we had cuddled a thousand times before, what harm would once more cause?

"Of course we can," He told me softly.

He lay down on his back, gesturing for me to lie on him. I did. I put my head on his chest, immediately being able to hear his steady heartbeat. He wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me close into him.

I closed my eyes and was already so close to falling asleep. Even though I'd slept so much, I was somehow still knackered.

"Goodnight, Bug."

He laughed, his chest moving up and down as he did. "Goodnight, Bets. Try not to say my name too much in your sleep tonight."