Crazy In Love | Buggy

e i g h t y - o n e

-content warning :
this chapter contains smut -

Buggy filled the wooden bathtub with water so hot that it felt as if my skin could melt off. He asked if I wanted it cooler, but I said that it was at the perfect temperature. He smiled, kissed me on the forehead, then left to steer the ship. A small part of me wanted to ask for him to stay with me.

For a moment, I had a memory of a time that we bathed together. It was a good, fond memory. When I thought about things like that, it made me ache in a nostalgic way. I had this overwhelming bad feeling looming over me. It was the conversation that me and Buggy had. It had really thrown me off.

I stepped into the tub, the water burning the skin of my legs in the most perfect way. I lowered myself into it, until I was shoulder deep in it. I leaned my head back, closing my eyes and trying to clear my mind.

That was impossible. Too much had happened, too much had been said. Between what had happened with Jacques, and my conversations with Buggy, my head was spinning. The hot water only served to make my nausea worse, yet I had no plans of leaving the bath anytime soon.

My brain began to think about the future. The future felt like a looming threat, threatening to take Buggy away from me. I hoped that he had just had a moment of weakness today. Seeing me covered in blood, curled up on the floor had most likely put him in an odd mood.

He wouldn't leave me. There was no chance. He was right that we couldn't go on like we had, I knew that much. I wasn't cut out to be a pirate, and he wasn't cut out to sit on an island doing nothing. We could compromise. He could have his high see travels, and I could wait on my island. He would visit me, we would still be together.

Reality crept in to my thoughts. Buggy had been right about my family not accepting us. I had a bad feeling I would be disowned for dating Buggy. If not, our family would be ostracised by our town. They wouldn't understand. I didn't blame them, it was a weird situation.

I sat up in the bath suddenly as my anxiety felt like it was beginning to choke me ever slightly. I grasp my throat, sucking in big breaths. I looked down at the bath water which now had a red tint to it from the blood. I had killed someone today, yet I was thinking more about Buggy and I. These months had changed me.

I took ahold of the sponge, filling it with soap and scrubbing my skin so rough that it felt as if I could pull it off. The blood came off easy, making the water even redder. I stayed in the bath for a while longer, just trying not to cry.

Eventually, the water cooled, and I knew I had to get out. I wrapped myself in a towel and made my way back to Buggy's bedchambers. As I walked, I saw we had set sail. The island we had lived on for that short time was disappearing as we sailed away from it.

My chest ached. I had been so happy there. I hadn't wanted to leave. It made me feel sad that me and Buggy would never have a permanent home. The sea was his home. It wasn't mine, however.

I considered going up to where the steering wheel was, to see Buggy. But I didn't think that I could face him. I went to his bedroom, changing into some clean comfortable clothes, and I climbed into his bed. It smelled like him. I wrapped the covers around myself tightly.

All I had done recently was sleep. Yet, I found sleep rather easily once again. I dreamed of Buggy and I, in the snow. I remembered how much the snow had wowed me when I saw it for the first time. That, like most of our memories, felt like a lifetime ago.