Fated Risk || Completed

Chapter 39 || Sweet and Sour Morning

Sophia

I don't remember falling asleep, only that Maddox was very convoicing about going to Abu Dhabi for Ash's last race, but the next time I blinked the sun from the windows all over the room, making me squint against the brightness. The bed under me, soft and cozy, trying to lull me back into a sleep. It almost did too, but I managed to pull myself out of the drowsiness, and once I did, realization settled in, shooting me upright. I hadn't woken up once during the night, which meant I didn't check on Jax either. I've never slept through the whole night, ever. The panic that caused made my mouth sour. Moving around, I tried to find Jax's crib, but it was gone and my throat shut against itself. I swung my head to the right, about to wake Maddox up but froze at the sight next to me.

Maddox was sleeping with the blanket kicked off him, and only his lower half was covered. His stomach flexed with every breath, and the beautiful golden skin glazed under the sun, faint scars covering him that before second I never had the chance to look at, but now I see them. None too big, but enough of them scatter his chest, stomach, sides and arms to be noticeable. The tattoo at the pit of his neck stretched with every breath, and each letter from the word 'temporary' was small and written in a lazy font matching his personality. The meaning behind it is a sad story of when he felt temporary. A moment he found astonishing strength to fight the demon in him, and I'm thankful for that because now he's lying next to me, his hand hanging over the side of the bed, holding Jax's tiny hand through the crib that was moved to his side at some point in the night, and they both were sleeping.
 
The morning sunlight shines on his turned face, every curve and edge being brightened up with a stillness to marvel at. His dirty brown hair messily covers his eyes, almost light blond from the sun, which did the man justice. It was a sight I knew was dangerously powerful because it made me want to become ruthless to anyone who threatened him. He looked at peace, as if the pain can't reach him that deep into his sleep and for that I felt relief. They both looked at peace, and for a while I just sat there and watched them in awe. The silk blanket dragging around my naked waist, I leaned on my knees and rested there. I've never felt this... I'm not sure what this is. It's new. I feel new. I don't feel like rushing through the morning, don't want to workout to get my mind out of its slump and don't feel like stressing over how to present myself today. I don't even want to move. For once, I feel like being stuck in this moment with this sight, because it felt like enough... like I've made it.
 
I don't trust easily, but when I look at Maddox, I want to break that resistance in me and let go. Let go of all the hurt, pain, and thousands of thoughts that haunt me, and just enjoy this simple second of sanctuary.
 
For months, I haven't managed to get Jax to sleep in his crib, and just in one night Maddox found a solution. He gave Jax the comfort he needed, and in some way, I think Jax means something greater to Maddox. A new life, maybe. A new chance. Something new. Whatever it was, he undoubtedly loved him and for that I loved him more. It takes a strong man to love a child that isn't his, that he's not required to love. For fucks sake, parents who are required to love their children sometimes don't. But this man who's lived in constant pain for years, he welcomed Jax with open arms and loved him profoundly. I didn't have a role model growing up. I saw situations I never wanted to find myself in again, and people I never wanted to be like. That was enough. But Maddox, he was a role model that was worth looking up too. I wanted Jax to have him in his life.