Fated Risk || Completed

Chapter 10 || Mutual Agreement

Sophia.

    "Jax, please." I begged, my own voice rasping and tearing from the agony of watching him cry, "You can't sleep in my bed every night." I repeat, but he reached over his crib with hot tears streaming down his face and making his cheeks redder anyways. His been crying for the past thirty minutes, and it's breaking my heart. His tired and it's past his bedtime but he wouldn't go to sleep. Not unless it's in my arms or in my bed and I can't let him keep doing that. It's unhealthy and teaches him that he can make me cave.

But the truth is right now, I'm caving because with every passing second of him wailing and looking at me with tears in his misty rain eyes, I broke more. With every second, I thought about how many times his stood just like this, crying his eyes out and begging for someone to just hold him. To tell him his safe, to love him, and care for him. How many times has he cried himself out only to realize that no one was going to come for him. And I can't do that. I can't let him think I wouldn't come for him, because I will. So, I rushed towards him, picking him up into my arms before setting him on my hip. "Okay, okay." I said, wiping his tears, "You win."

    He clung to me, hiccupping from all the crying and looked at me with big, watered eyes that felt like knifes slashing against my flesh. "One more night, Jax." I told him. But I'm not if I'm trying to convince him, or me. I don't think either of us believes it either. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be one more night. Yet knowing that, I walked him to my room and set him down on my bed anyways. He curled up into my pillow, sniffling with his teddy bear pressed up against his tiny body, and watched me with real fear in his eyes.

    I sat down, getting more comfortable and pulled my laptop of my nightstand. "Okay, sleep. I'm going to be right here, okay?"

    He sniffled. "Sofi stay?"

    I nodded, pulling the blanket up for him and tucking him in. "I'm staying right here, Jax. I promise." I reassured him, causing him to scoot up closer to me. His little body pressed into my side while his hiccups continued. But twenty minutes later he was sound asleep next to me with his face buried in his bear.

    I couldn't stop starting at him. His so young, new and somehow already so traumatized by the world, by our mother's actions. I hated her more for it. I had settled with all the raw damaged she did to me, but I couldn't come to terms that she would do something like this to him. An innocent child, then again so was I. I'll never understood how she can look at a child and not care, and now looking at Jax, I'm wondering if maybe she's sick in the head. With me, I thought it was a fluke, it was just me, but now I think I'm wrong. How could she not love him?

    Amy has been repeatedly telling me that I need to train Jax to sleep in his own crib because apparently his refusing to nap during the day in there too, but I think he just feels safe in my bed. And how can I take that away from him? How can I rip away the little comfort this boy has? Has he not suffered enough? I think with the amount of uncertainty his felt in the past year if my bed is the place he feels safe in, I won't take it from him. Screw specialist's and their advise.

    The unexpected chime from my doorbell echoed through the house, causing me to jerk my head up from my laptop and glance at my phone. It's well past ten, so who's at my door? I slid off my bed, trying not to wake Jax and made my way towards the door. It rung again, and I cursed whoever was behind it because if they woke up Jax I'll skin them alive.

    I picked up my pace, jogging to the door as the bell rung again. Unlocking it, I tore it open with a scowl that slide off my face the second I saw who's behind the door. "Boss?"

    Maddox stood on my porch, wearing a black hoodie over his head and grey sweats that shouldn't look this appealing on him, but of course they do. It's the most unofficial I've seen him, and something about it was so casual. Something about it just looked so him, like this was exactly how he would dress at home. This was the real him, and not the office Maddox I see every day. I don't know if I needed to know him in a causal way because then that shifted out relationship and I wanted it to stay professional.