Just the way you are- Leah Williamson

I don't care

My phone battery was dead lol.
I didn't sleep all night and haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning.
Jana: "Hey, how did you sleep?"
Elena: "Good"
Jana: "You don't look like that"
I looked at her
Jana: "Come on, we have to go to training"
I got ready and we set off.
I went in and got a Powerrade from the kitchen.
I then went into the chill room where we all always gather before training.
I don't even know if Leah was there because I wasn't looking across the room.
Viv: "Hey mate, why didn't you answer"
Yes, okay, I saw Leah
I took out my phone and showed her that the battery was dead.
Viv: "Where did you sleep?"
Elena: "Jana"
Beth: "What happened yesterday?"
Elena: "I was tired and just wanted to leave"
Beth: "Well...you don't look like you've slept for a minute."
I looked at her and took a deep breath.
Elena: "It was just...a long night"
Viv: "But why the hell did you sleep by Jana and not by us"
I shrugged my shoulders.
My hands were in my trouser pockets.

Leah's POV
Damn...after all this she's still defending me.
She could also just turn me in and say that I kissed Lia, but Elena isn't like that.
and I let her go...
You could see the pain everywhere, in her posture, in her laughter, in her eyes, the way she spoke.Everywhere.
I just want her to look into my eyes once.
Leah: "Are you okay?"
She laughed and twitched her eyebrow.
she turned around and left.
The worst thing about it is that I have no feelings for Lia at all.
I didn't even want to kiss her.
I was drunk and my reaction time was 6 seconds.
I didn't even kiss her, she kissed me.
If I were Elena I would have reacted worse, I'm honest.
I don't know how to explain this to her.

Elenas POV

Today was public training, which means Fans come to the training.
I do not feel good. At all.
Whether it's in my head as well as in my soul, my heart, is somehow all so empty.
You start to question what you're living for.
I wish I could say that I live for myself...but I don't.
I live for Leah, but Leah is gone.
And I wish I could press a switch and not feel anything anymore.
But I can't do that.
I'm tired so incredibly tired of everyone.
and honestly I don't want to see anyone.
I have anxiety and back then depression.
Leah was the one who took my hand and led me out of the darkness, she showed me the bright side of life.
She showed me that winter has a smell and that the sun is not yellow at all.
She showed me that there are people worth fighting for, people who love you for the person you are.
No matter how fragile, stupid,Happy or funny you are, there will be people who love you.
She showed me the value of life and that life is not meaningless once you have found your meaning.
My meaning is Leah.
But what's the point if the meaning is meaningless?
Katie: "Hey mate, you look a bit questionable"
she got me out of my thoughts.
Elena: "Just tired like I said"
She hugged me as we walked down to the court.
I whispered in her ear as we hugged.
Elena: "I don't want to see anyone"
Katie: "You can do it, I believe in you, El. Fight your way through"
I gave her a smile and training began.
I drank my water while sitting on a ball.
I made eye contact with Leah.
You can't imagine how hard this is.
To look at her and not run up and hug her.
We had completed training.
I had the ball and of course I was fouled by none other than Lia.
Lia: "Come on, get up"
I got up.
I wasn't angry.
I had no strength at all to be angry.
We continued playing.
Guess who fouled me for the second time.
Right Lia.
I just sat there, the anger slowly boiling over but I knew people would see this.
Jonas: "Lia, please remember that Elena will ultimately still play on a team with you, we don't need any injured people."
Lia: "That was ball"
I got up and continued.
Training was over and I ran back to campus with Jonas.
Jonas: "I haven't even seen you laugh today"
Elena: "Slept little"
Jonas: "I don't believe you because Leah doesn't look any better"
I shrugged my shoulders.
Jonas: "Elena, listen, I have no idea what's going on between you, but the team can't suffer because of it."
Elena: "yeah, I completely understand that"
Jonas: "good"
He said and went inside.
I just stood there.
I turned around and ran back to the others.
The others were with the fans.
I went there and everyone was screaming.
Katie: "I guess you're a fan favorite"
Elena: "Unfortunately, I actually wanted to ask you something else-"
Fan: "Elena, can I get an autograph?"
I went and signed the ball.
Right next to me was Leah, I could recognize her by her smile.
Fan: "When are you getting married"
he shouted around.
I ignored that.
Leah was with Amanda the whole time, I just saw that.
Amanda: "Elena come here"
I went and did the biggest fake laugh of the millennium.
I hugged her.
Leah stood still next to me.
Elena: "Hey, how are you?"
Amanda: "I should ask you that, you look like you've been partying all night long."
She always looked back and forth between me and Leah.
Elena: "Yeah, it was a long night but you only turn 27 once, right"
I said and didn't look at Leah once.
I haven't heard a single sentence from Leah today.
Amanda: "Right....you know we're celebrating today in Family circle would you like to Come?"
That hurt
Elena: "I would love to but I have a meeting today"
Amanda: "with?"
After a long silence
Elena: "Yeah, okay, you caught me, like I said, it was a long night. I think I'll sleep straight away when I get home from training."
I said and smiled
Elena: "Say hello to everyone from me"
I said, smiled with a thumbs up, turned around and left.

Leah's POV
That one really hurt.
I made a mistake and she has to fix it again.
She doesn't deserve this.
After everything she did for me...she never got a thank you.
I hurt her. I hurt the only person I swore with infinity.
Amanda: "Okay, what was that?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
Amanda: "You know something I don't know"
Leah: "I kissed Lia yesterday......she kissed me let's put it this way"
She stood there in shock.
Amanda: "Why are you standing here, go to her"
Leah:,,and then? Do you just think she forgives me, claps her hands and says Leah thank you for cheating on me let's get married"
Amanda: "No, if I were her I would hate you to death, but she deserves at least a little respect if she's still lying for you after all this, idiot."
Leah: "See you later"
I said, turning around and running after Elena.
Leah: "...I have no idea what to say - thank you"
Elena: "for?"
She is so human.
Okay, that sounds strange.
Leah: "lying"
She just nodded her head.
Leah: "I would love to hug you right now and never let go"
Okay, that had to come out because she's not feeling well.
She looked at the floor and tensed her jaw.
Elena:,,why? Please tell me why I don't understand, Leah, if I did something wrong then just tell me."
Leah: "No, God no, you didn't do anything wrong"
Elena: "Then why?"
Her voice sounded broken and quiet
Leah: "She kissed me, I was drunk and didn't realize it at first. I have no feelings for her"
Elena: "God Leah , if you don't have feelings for her why were you with her the whole time on your birthday and not with me"
Leah: "Because you don't dance"
Elena: "That's a lie, I would do anything for you"
I just stood there and looked into those hurt eyes.
Elena: "Okay listen to me Leah, get together with her or not, tell her to keep me the hell out of it, I have nothing to do with your relationship and honestly I don't want to either. Tell her to separate work and private life."
Leah: "That's it for us now?"
She looked into my eyes.
Elena: "Take it however you want, I don't care, have a nice party today... take care of yourself"
she said and left.