My Fire -Charles Leclerc

Chapter 14-Christmas Jitters

Playlist

Moonlight on the river- mac de Marco

Bubblegum- cigarettes after sex

Enjoy!
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December 25, 2012- Hershey Pennsylvania

This was my first Christmas without my dad and I had no idea how to feel about it.

It was obvious to me everyone was trying to guard my mind from the sad part of it all. But I knew, I've been thinking about this since the moment he was pronounced dead.

The very first thing I thought about when they told me he had died ,was all of the things he would miss.

He would miss every Christmas that we would have.

My middle school graduation that we takes about since my first day of 6th grade. What I would wear and where we go eat after.

My first day of highschool. My highschool graduation.

He was going to miss moving me into my dorm. And he would miss my college graduation.

The thing that hit me the hardest was when I fully realized he was going to miss my wedding if I chose to get married.

When I was younger and I couldn't sleep we would come sit by my bed and we talk about my ideal wedding

Granted at the time I was marrying Leonardo Di Caprio but he would entertain my delusions.

To come to terms with the fact he would miss one of the most important moments in my life hurt like no other pain I've ever felt before.

"Maggie, come down. We are going to start the movie without you" Devyn calls up the stairs

"I'm coming down now" I call back closing my notebook

Something I had taken up doing was writing notes, to my father. I would just write little catch ups so it was almost as though we hadn't missed anything or at least that's how it was in my mind.

I kept all the letters in a box and sometimes I would read them back and it was like I was having a conversation with him.

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December 25, 2022- London, England

I woke up earlier than the average person would on Christmas morning

But I had my own tradition to fulfill.

I grabbed my notebook from the desk and grabbed my phone.

The time was 5:30 in the morning and I was going out.

At lunch the other day Reece had mentioned a little place 10 minutes from the cobham training center, he told me it was quiet and very peaceful if I needed some where to go think in my stay here

I took the information and kept it in the back of my mind for this moment.

Every Christmas morning since my dad had passed I would go out super early, usually to a small park or something. And I would just think, think about both of my parents and how life would be without them.

Then when I picked up the letters I started writing to the both of them. For my dad I obviously had more to say, I knew him. He was my best friend.

I quietly left the apartment and began the short walk to where Reece had told me to go.

I walked and enjoyed the silence and time to myself

When I got there I found a bench over looking the frozen over body of water