always ↬ leading me on || l.dh • h.rj • z.cl

·thirty four·

"Hyung, I thought you said they weren't dating," Jisung adressed Jaemin as soon as Renjun had excused himself with a crying Chenle to take him home.

"Renjun...told me he was single, I believe him," Jaemin replied, albeit with his brows drawn together in confusion.

"They literally just kissed in front of us!"

"Jisung has a point Nana, they were kissing that day in the infirmary as well, they must have something going on," Jeno reasoned slowly.

"Shut up Jeno," Donghyuck interjected, after seeing Jaemin start to visibly deflate, "they could just be friends who- who like to kiss a lot for all we know!"

"Hyuck-" Mark started to speak up, but Donghyuck stood up and walked away, dragging Jaemin along with him.

"I don't want to hear it Mark."

Jeno's eyes narrowed when he processed the fact that Donghyuck only referred to himself. He didn't want to hear it.

‣‣

"Chenle, Lele, baby, please tell me what's wrong," Renjun begged, trying to get the younger to look at him. Chenle simply buried his face deeper into Renjun's chest and bawled, apologies flooding from his mouth constantly.

They were currently in Chenle's room, the younger was sat on Renjun's lap, as the ravenette attempted to console him.

"Why do you keep saying sorry? Why are you crying? Chenle please, I'm getting worried-"

"Y-You think I don't love you," he whispered.

"What?"

"You think I don't love you, I'm s-sorry, I never showed you enough, I didn't give- I didn't give you enough for you to understand I-I'm so sorry, but I really do lov-"

"Lele," Renjun cut in, "Lele I'm so sorry baby, I never meant to doubt your love, I'm sorry I made you cry, please don't apologise."

"N-no," the blonde shook his head rapidly, wiping away his tears and sniffling as he straightened up, "it's all my fault, I'm sorry."

The blonde put a finger to Renjun's lips as he opened his mouth to interject, "you hate yourself because of me, I hurt you — I hurt the one person who I love the most in this world, saying sorry isn't enough."

The older boy moved Chenle's hand away, but before he could speak again, Chenle kissed him, "don't deny it gege, I already know. I'm sorry and I know you're not going to accept that, I know you're going to keep on telling me that you brought it upon yourself, so let's not talk about it anymore," his voice cracked a little, hoarse and strained, "just keep holding onto me and I'll keep holding onto you, let's try to forget the pain for a while. Just for a day."

Chenle watched the little specks of light that would always flicker around in Renjun's eyes start to die out the more he spoke, but he knew it was because he was telling the truth.

He knew.

And so, with a small, sad chuckle, the elder shifted to lay down on his side with Chenle in his embrace, an almost empty, 'just for today', leaving his lips weightlessly.

‣‣

"Let's just get started on the lyrics alone," Jeno sighed, finally breaking the tense silence that had settled between him and Mark. After Jaemin and Donghyuck had left, Jisung had to go a last-minute dance practice and that left the two of them together, trying to comprehend what exactly was going on.

"Huh? Yeah, okay, but shouldn't we tell the others?"

"Just text the group chat we made for it, I need a break," he replied, already making his way out of the building, "let's go to your place, I don't want to stick around here anymore, too much shit has gone down in this canteen."

‣‣

"What's wrong, Jiji?" a soft voice filtered through the air as someone plopped down next to Jisung.

"I actually don't know Jungwoo hyung," the younger answered, scratching the back of his head, "I really don't know."

"Jisung!" another voice jumped in, startling the tall boy slightly, "how's Hyuck? He's missed out on a lot of practice as of recently."

"Ah, I think Haechan hyung has just been kinda busy," Jisung said sheepishly, "does 127 have an event coming up or something?"

"Yup! We have a dance competition to prepare for," Jungwoo cheerily answered, standing up and ruffling the boy's hair, "anyway, don't stress yourself with whatever's bothering you too much kid, your 127 hyungs will always have your back."

"AND YOUR WAYV ONES!" someone shouted from the practice room over, causing the trio to laugh.

"That's definitely Lucas."

‣‣

"Jaemin," Donghyuck said quietly, "are you upset?"

"Not really, I'm kinda disappointed to be honest, but not upset," he slung and arm around the orange haired boy's shoulder, "Renjun's cute and I think he's a great person, but it's only a crush, you know that I'm in love with Jeno," he laughed, "oh, and Hyuck?"

"Yeah?"

"You look like the one who's upset about it."

‣‣

"Gege are you awake?"

"Mhmm, what's wrong?"

Chenle turned around in Renjun's arms, so that they were facing each other, moonlight illuminating the otherwise dark room, "why is it that we keep hurting each other, no matter how much we try not to?"

Renjun stared down at him, a soft grin playing on his lips as he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead, "I don't know Lele. Maybe we just like ending up in each other's arms every night after spending our days walking around in circles," he inhaled, "maybe it's because we like to tear down our homes before running back into them," his fingers came up to caress the blonde's cheekbones, "maybe it's because we were built to break and we're not willing to let what we have crumble completely."

"It could be," Chenle hummed, "it probably is," he continued, taking Renjun's hand in his own and intertwining their fingers, "that's what love is in the end, isn't it? It's painful, but we can never get enough of it."

The young boy's words lingered in the air as they slowly drifted off to sleep like that, in each other's arms, with promises of a better tomorrow weaved into their fading breaths.