always ↬ leading me on || l.dh • h.rj • z.cl

·thirteen·

The two walked in moderate silence, with the exception of Chenle's sniffles and Renjun's deep breaths.

They had gone to one of the school's courtyards, Renjun's grip on his friend's hand tightening as they rounded a corner.

The elder made Chenle sit underneath the shade of a large tree, its golden leaves swaying in the wind. Renjun sat next to him and the blonde rested his head on the older boy's shoulders.

Chenle let his eyelids fall closed, he could feel a slight sting behind them and he blamed it on his lack of sleep rather than the obvious tears running down his face.

"Renjun ge," he breathed, voice airy, "I missed this."

"I missed you..." He scooted closer to the black haired boy.

"I missed us." He stared into Renjun's dark eyes with the same emotion as before. The Chinese couldn't pin-point what it was though, the deep haze that swirled around in Chenle's irises.

It looked sad and if a colour could be put to it, Renjun would say it was blue. A blue that was borderline black — resembling the sky on silent nights. It looked like worn-down longing.

So empty. So old. As if it had been there for years. Why hadn't he seen it before? That haunting shadow that loomed behind Chenle's perfect orbs.

How long had he waited for Renjun to save him?

How long had Renjun given him false hope?

The boy hadn't realised how much he'd never known, he thought that distance could never break them apart. That if anything was wrong, Chenle would tell him straight away.

That wasn't how Chenle was though.

And Renjun knew that much, knew that Chenle always kept his hurt to himself, all of his pains bottled up inside of him and sealed with a smile that no one could see through. At one point Renjun thought he could though.

He proved himself wrong.

He didn't see it for all these years through a screen. The way Chenle's smile shone too short, how his laugh was only light. All those late night calls and early morning texts, Renjun couldn't see the way Chenle changed.

How he'd always ask when he'd see Renjun again.

Renjun thought it was impossible to drift away from his best friend. But he realised that he already did, that no matter how much he'd told himself it wouldn't — it couldn't — happen, it did. Distance had drawn them apart and now Renjun had to bring them back together while mending Chenle, whom he so mercilessly broke.

He should have seen it before. It was his fault that Chenle lost his light.

‣‣

The elder bought a hand up to place Chenle's head against his chest as he let his fingers run through the bleached locks atop.

"I'm sorry Chenle," he swallowed, apologies were never easy for him, but this one was long overdue, "I'll fix this."

He didn't specify what he was sorry for, what it was that he wanted to fix, but Chenle knew what he was talking about anyway. The things that Renjun actually wanted to say with that sentence, 'I'll make sure no one hurts you anymore', 'I'll protect you now that I'm here.'

Chenle knew because that was how special their bond was and even if time and space had torn them apart from each other, they'd still have that connection. It may have shrunk over the years, but that's what happens to a rose when not watered — it withers.

That doesn't mean the rose can't grow again. It still has its roots; a small lifeline. You just have to nurture it properly, it'll grow back stronger than before. You just have to preserve it. You just have to love it.

And cherish it.

Chenle cherished Renjun. And so he knew that their rose would come back to beauty, they'd find a way to water it, like how Chenle always took time out of his day, no matter how busy it was, to water the azaleas that Renjun had given him during his last birthday in China.

"I know you will gege. When do you never fix the messes that I get myself into?" Chenle said through a wavering smile.

"You mean the messes that I get you into?"

"Oh please, you've never gotten me into any messes," Chenle snorted lightly.

'Apart from the mess you've made my heart become,' the younger thought to himself as he leaned into Renjun's chest more, savoring the feelings of warmth and comfort that the other radiated.

‣‣

The two stayed like that for the rest of the day, Chenle snuggled up to Renjun as they spoke in hushed whispers and soft words.

They missed all the remainder of their lessons, but they couldn't care less. They had each other now, they didn't want or need anything else.

When the bell signaling the end of school rung, Chenle was fast asleep on Renjun's lap, snoring into his ear lightly as he clung to the elder like a koala to a tree. The ravenette sat with his back pressed up against said tree, eyelids droopy as he fought to stay conscious when suddenly he was snapped back into reality by the sound of loud cheers.

Renjun moved to get up quickly, not wanting to stick around to get involved with the commotion, but as he stood, Chenle now on his back still sound asleep, it was too late. Proceeding towards the courtyard's exit, he was greeted with the sight of a big crowd gathering.

Donghyuck stood in the middle of it all, knuckles dripping with blood, which Renjun assumed belonged to the male student who was currently laying unconscious on the floor.

Jeno and Jaemin both stood a little futher away, stares cold as they peered at the boy their friend had just beat.

Renjun glowered at them, if he learnt that they had done anything moderately similar to this with Chenle, he swore that he'd break their necks.

Haechan looked up, scowl evident on his face, but it disappeared soon after he'd spotted Renjun in the crowd, replaced with a different look. Renjun didn't want to know what it meant and he certainly wasn't sticking around to find out.

So after readjusting Chenle on his back, he found another way to leave the courtyard and took his friend home.

Away from it all.